Advice to Clients: Don't Sabotage Your Case

A lot of our fellow PIs on the criminal investigations side of things eschew the very idea of taking on domestic cases. For some, spending hours, days, or weeks tracking a straying wife or husband feels less important than interviewing prosecution witnesses, and a few seem to think there's a tawdriness to divorce cases and domestic disputes that leaves them feeling a bit....dirty.

But domestic cases, if approached with understanding and respect, are not only good business, but can also be important, rewarding work. After all, what matters more in people's lives than family? Generally, domestic clients hire us because they and their loved ones are at some kind of painful crossroads. They suspect that a family member is surreptitiously buying illegal drugs, associating with criminals, having an affair, or neglecting children. Some clients are so filled with fear, insecurity, and suspicion that they need an objective outsider to collect solid evidence for them, to illuminate the darkness of those raging emotions with the cold, hard light of irrefutable facts.

A professional, ethical investigator has a responsibility in cases like these to speak candidly with clients, whose minds are often clouded by anger or feelings of betrayal and helplessness. It's crucial to clearly define the scope of each job before beginning. What is the client looking for? What specific facts will establish the truth? And how does the client intend to use those facts after the investigation is over?

Here are a few basic ideas we try to communicate to clients, to make sure we are giving them exactly what they need, to avoid wasting people's money on unnecessary surveillance, and to prevent people from sabotaging their own cases:

1. We are not therapists. Although we will listen with empathy and respect, you should consider speaking to a professional counselor about the trauma you're experiencing, whether it's a divorce, an affair, a spouse's addiction, or a child custody battle. A great counselor is well worth his fee.

2. Do not attempt to do your own PI work. Once you've hired us, do not follow, photograph, stake out, or surveille the person you've hired us to investigate, and do not send your friends to eyeball his driveway. He knows your car (and theirs) and all your moves, and you will most likely tip him off to the fact that he's being watched. That puts him on his guard, makes our job ten times harder, and costs you lots more money in surveillance fees in the long run.

3. Do not confront her. Until the case is closed, resist the urge to call her out on the information we've just delivered to you about her suspicious whereabouts last night. "How did you know that?" she'll say. For the repercussions of this, refer to the latter half of #2. Confronting is your lawyer's job. You're paying your lawyer a lot of money, so don't sabotage their work by showing your hand too early.

4. Keep your distance. While the investigation is in progress, it's best not to call him, drive by his house late at night, or rifle through his trash bin, no matter how crazy your obsessive thoughts are driving you. Keep your contact with him as minimal as possible, and keep it low-drama. Again, see #2.

5. Be honest and realistic about what you want from us. If possible, think in specifics about what exact information you want and what you will do with it. Often, clients become so emotional about their cases that they aren't sure when to quit. Once we collect the damning piece of evidence, or a series of facts that establish a behavior pattern, stop while you're ahead. And then make a concrete plan with your attorney about how you will use the information to achieve your goals, whether they be gaining legal custody of kids, gaining an advantage in mediation, or confronting a spouse in a measured way about a troubling behavior.

6. Micromanaging doesn't work. We do this for a living, let us apply our expertise. If we suggest 2 or 3 investigators for a complicated moving surveillance one day, it's because we really do need them. We absolutely will not nickel-and-dime you. We want to apply the proper tools and techniques to the job at hand, and sometimes that costs a bit of money. Paying three investigators for one productive night's surveillance is often less expensive than paying one investigator for several days of solo (read burned) surveillance. What you don't want is to waste your money by paying someone to perform a futile task. And believe me, moving surveillance through downtown at rush hour is (at the very best) difficult with three investigators and entirely futile with just one.

7. Offer us full disclosure. The more useful information you give us, the easier our jobs become, and the more efficiently we can work. (And the more money you save.) Be sure and get us any information you can about our subject and anyone else we need to observe: full name, physical description, photographs, SS#, vehicle make and model, plate numbers, personal habits, workout schedule, favorite haunts, work location and hours--all that helps us find the subject and make an educated guess about where they are going next.

In summary, we're more than happy to handle domestic cases. But in order to do the job you need us to do, it's essential that you let us do our work. We always tell our clients, "Let your lawyer handle the legal stuff, talk to a therapist about the emotional stuff, and let us take care of the snooping." Do this..and you'll spend less money overall and will be far more likely to find the answers your were looking for in the first place.

"Divorce Fair" Offers Italians Advice on Splitting Up

American culture proliferates in strange and unpredictable ways.

Sometimes that can be a good thing. Take Iran's so-dubbed Twitter Revolution, in which a highly tech-literate population used American-bred hacker and social-media technologies to raise their voices against Ahmadinejad's corrupt regime and stolen elections (and for American-style freedom of speech), always staying one step ahead of the government's attempts to e-silence them.

Sometimes, however, the spread of American mores can be...well, at best, perplexing. For example, is it a good or a bad thing that divorce in Italy is on the rise? Does it signal a loosening of the Vatican's medieval grip on Italian society, or a catastrophe for Italian family life and values?

The exhibitors at Italy's first ever divorce trade fair would most likely answer "neither." For them, it's an economic opportunity. Family lawyers, dating services, and real estate agents came together earlier this month to offer their services to Italian divorcées and future singles.

Although Italy's divorce and custody laws are loosening, the average divorce still takes up to five years, as compared with about a year for much of Europe. Just imagine the surveillance opportunities... Read the full article here.

Divorce - An Economic Indicator?

How’s the economy doing?

The “numbers” often obscure the picture: the stock market surges while unemployment slowly spirals upwards. As for GDP and the TED Spread…um…what?!?!?  In the end, no two economists agree on the answer to the question.

For most folks, the real question is this: How does the recession affect my day-to-day life?

We’ve heard the stories: journalists, restaurant owners and employees, pilots, automotive dealers, and factory workers who’ve lost jobs and businesses, families who’ve lost homes. More insidious effects likely lie beneath the surface—stress-induced health problems, rising crime…and according to this MSN money article from earlier this year, a decrease in divorce filings.

At first glance, it sounds like a silver lining. It's not such great news for family lawyers and investigators who specialize in divorce cases, but so what? Could it be good news for families? A case of external stress bringing couples closer, maybe?

Phoenix family-law attorney Bonnie Booden says unfortunately, no. “…Most people in the middle-income brackets are getting by on whatever income they have,” she tells MSN money, adding that many couples are choosing to stick it out for the time being because the cost of splitting a household into two is prohibitive. 

Add this little tidbit from a recent Independent article,  “Why more desperate housewives choose to play away from home,” and you get a zesty stew of marital strife—increasing infidelity among women, middle-class couples who can’t afford a divorce.

Where does this leave spouses facing a lengthy in-home separation or attorneys and PIs in the uncomfortable position of playing counselor to an unhappily married client? It's damage control time, folks.

For a little help in the "making the most of things" realm, check out the work of Dr. John Gottman, the noted relationship researcher Malcolm Gladwell famously profiles in his 2005 book Blink. (see excerpt)

Gottman has observed thousands of couples for more than three decades, and he offers the following tips for improving relationships. For best results, steer away from the "four horsemen"--his term for the communications styles he considers most disastrous to relationships: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

You can read more about the four horsemen and myths of marital dysfunction here.

-KDG

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