[FIND] INVESTIGATIONS

Last Post here at Blogspot. Moving to a new home.

2011-11-02T10:27:00.001-05:00

If you have the inclination, reset your blog roll and your reader account to point the way to www.findinvestigations.com/blog

This is our new home on the web. Drop by any time.

Moving Time - Shipping our blog

2011-10-18T14:23:00.004-05:00

All of you loyal fans and readers out there, and there are a LOT of you, please take note:

[FIND] Investigations is shedding the .blogspot.com domain for a new service.

We've boxed up all of our bow ties and seersucker posts, folded up our recipes on cocktail napkins, and sorted our business blogs. We're about to haul the whole truckload of wit and wisdom just down the road to a new service.

So, in the next week or so, we'll get an email out tho the throngs, our faithful readers, with our new blog address. Likely it'll be something like www.findinvestigations.com/blog, but we'll see.

Cheers,

THH

Five More Tips to Trump the Competition

2011-10-10T13:50:00.000-05:00

1. Hang: Most offices have a place where the work staff hangs out: a favorite diner for lunch, the "company" bar, etc. Do a bit of research and find out where the competition's team spends their free time. People love to complain about work, hash out projects, and talk about the bosses. Sit. Listen.

Sometimes you can even engage. I once took a business intelligence trip to Arizona. The target company was a very large player in the hospitality industry. I stayed in the same hotel. Struck up a conversation at the bar with one of the execs, an attractive 50-ish year old female who loved to down martinis. I asked her why she was in town. She told me...For five hours, she told me. An hour into the conversation, her team showed up, introductions made all around, and they told me...My client was able to put together an entire proposal based on our conversation. Bar tab - $60.00, Hourly fees - $500, first-hand intelligence - Priceless.

2. Find the Ex: Tap into the rumor-mill and find out who's just left the competitor's ranks. (There are several industry specific news outlets that actually post revolving-door news items.) Find past employees. Ask them to dinner. Ask them questions: What does XYZ Co. do really well? How are they better than us? In which areas are they weak? Do not ask people to violate non-disclosure agreements.

3. Buy: Become a customer. Use their services. Find out, first hand, what the competition does better than you.

4. Buy (part 2): Buy stock. Seriously, buy a couple shares of the competition's stock. Now you have the right to learn anything that other shareholders know. Worth a shot.

5. Conference Hound: Go to the same trade shows. People love to brag. Let them.

Five Tips to Trump the Competition

2011-10-06T10:07:00.001-05:00

Everyday Corporate Intelligence Tricks:

Shift that Paradigm: Typically the sales department and marketing team view competition with a degree of contempt. Fear and ignorance lead to bad decision making. Digging for dirt and trying to discredit the competition often (almost always) leads to a myopic view and bad intelligence. Step back and have a look at your competition from the perspective of a new client. View them through the eyes of a prospect, a regular player in the market with generally positive expectations. Ask what they do well. Where do they excel? How could they solve my problems? You might be surprised to learn that the competition is actually better at some things than you are. Know your competition, don’t just sling mud.

Read: Set up an RSS feed that provides you with any stories in the media about your competition. Are stories being written about them? Are they being quoted as experts? Learn what they have to say. Google Alerts is an easy way to do this. Pay close attention to help-wanted ads. If you’ve been paying attention for some time, you’ll start to notice when the competition is staffing up for a huge new project.

Gather Web Intelligence: Scour their corporate web site, read every bit. Download pages. Study the material. What products do they sell? What services do they provide? We actually set up a notebook for each company we’re tracking. There are several sections to these three ring binders, but the first and easiest to get is the entire content from the competition’s own web site. Review the competitions web site as if you were a new customer (see No. 1).

Build a Network of Human Intelligence: This will take some finesse and will definitely take an investment in time, but countless people come through your office on a daily basis who can provide you with valuable, valuable information. Talk to them. UPS, FedEx, the guy who services copy machines, even the water delivery service, all fantastic sources of information. Build rapport, engage, and over time slip in some comments and questions about the competition. You’ll be surprised how much the water guy knows.

Ask: How about this for a crazy idea: Ask the competition directly. Simple really.

Next week we’ll dig a little deeper into some more ideas for gathering intelligence on the competition.

The Sartorial Sleuth: Double Vision

2011-09-29T09:47:00.001-05:00

Michael B. Jordan, in GQ

Someone suggested the other day that a double breasted suit or coat might make a great addition to the PI wardrobe.

I am not a small man. I’m not huge, but by no means small. My shoulders are wide, waist within reason (slowly spreading, but still), and I stand six feet nothing. My body type is, in theory, perfect for a double breasted suit. I’ve just never been a fan.

GQ has a fantastic 9 photo spread this month of Michael B. Jordan, that loveable QB from the Dillon Lions (Friday Night Lights), wearing a series of double breasted suits and coats. He, as one would expect, looks fantastic. The key seems to be in the tailoring.

For a double breasted jacket, one should spend some time with a tailor. The coat should fit snugly, and it shouldn't be too long. Bring in the waist line and accentuate the shoulders. Look for no fewer than six buttons (three on each side) and a peaked lapel. These details draw attention to the shoulders, which is what the DB suit is all about.

Since the DB covers up more neckwear than a single breasted coat, it’s best to pick a spread collar shirt to show off that fantastic tie. And since the DB just seems more formal than the standard suit-coat, it’s perfect for a bow-tie. (Had to get that in)

Accessories - This is a perfect opportunity to throw in some color. Again, the abundance of material in the DB hides most of your tie, so have some fun – tuck in a colorful pocket square.

If you’re going to don the DB, then you must pay some attention to the pants. I usually stick with flat front, straight legged trousers, but for the DB one needs pants that hold it together. A simple pleat and a substantial cuff are required, otherwise the outfit looks top-heavy. Jeans are another thing altogether and I’m not sure the juxtaposition would work, but – hey – if the shoes, shirt, tie and pocket square are perfect, - maybe???

Final thoughts: As I said, the DB coat is not my personal favorite, but I’m willing to try. I’ve been perusing the aisles at FLIP, looking for a double breasted coat to add to the wardrobe. We’ll see…

Invisible Man

2011-09-26T12:20:00.000-05:00

We at [FIND] love the romantic (if cliched) image of the PI, the spy, the International Man of Mystery: he is a "he," he wears his fedora low over one eye and his trench coat collar buttoned high and vertically, and he smokes unfiltered Gauloises. Saxophones cry out at his every step (in shiny black wingtips), and the mean streets he treads glisten with ceaseless night rain and its bottomless reflections.

The myth of the PI (or spy) is a story of longing. The noir hero came of age in an era of financial collapse, Fascism, Communism, and world war. He was the hero we wanted then, willing to dirty his hands in the service of Good...and he dressed the part.

Who knows? He and his fedora might have melted perfectly into the murky night in occupied Paris or Cold-War-Era Warsaw. Or maybe even in 1950s Chinatown.

Today, he's as useless as a Crown Vic when it comes to surveillance.

[FIND] lexicon:

Cover for Status - an activity, outfit, and/or manner that provides a false pretext for being in a certain place, so that agent may conduct surveillance without arousing suspicion

Cover for Action - an activity, outfit, and/or manner that provides a false pretext for doing something, so that agent may conduct some type of covert activity without arousing suspicion

In the modern-day PI universe, a guy in a fedora and trench doesn't disappear into the scenery so well. The unsexy truth of it is this: to fade into the background, a PI's gotta set aside fashion and mystery and shoot for dull. To become invisible, or at least to seem so ordinary as to become de facto invisible, (s)he's gotta look like exactly what you'd expect to see in any given environment. A guy sitting in a car with tinted windows arouses suspicion. A guy standing by a work vehicle wearing a hard hat and manipulating some combination of survey tripod, orange cones, and clipboard does not warrant a second glance.

Creating a plausible cover for status means blending in seamlessly to a range of situations—wearing an outfit that makes people forget to see you, doing things that conform to people's idea of what a person in that outfit should be doing, and having a simple story or act ready to go when you're questioned. Magnetic vehicle signs with a fake company logo can complete the story, but make sure the phone number isn't a dead end...or your personal cell phone number.

Cover for action gets a little more complicated, but the same idea applies: have a good reason to be there. Need to get a quick look inside a new house without pulling a B&E (lawbreaking is NOT recommended)? Drop by and welcome the new neighbors to the 'hood with a lovely fruit basket from the local church or neighborhood association.

In the end, "cover" is the operative word: it's about camouflage, urban or otherwise. You can hide almost anywhere by looking as if you belonged there. Ghillie suit seldom, if ever, required.

Interrogation - Backwards and Forwards

2011-09-20T10:21:00.000-05:00

Police inquisitors, detectives, and interrogators have long been taught that one method of getting to the truth is to have the subject recount events in reverse order. The theory appears sound: people like to fill in the blanks in a story with constructs, thoughts or images that did not actually happen, to make a tale run smoother. Remove the linear nature of storytelling and the tendency to confabulate should decrease. The theory is so sound, in fact, that police forces in Australia, Britain, New Zealand, Norway, and Spain, to name a few, have been using reverse recall as a matter of policy for years.

I attended a seminar on interviewing where the speaker actually said that this method of interrogation was the most useful way to elicit a truthful statement from an interviewee. “They don’t have the time or the creativity to make things up in reverse-recall,” my instructor said.

Well, as with many a fine theory, when put to scientific rigor, it falls short.

A brief story in September 2, 2011 issue of The Economist details a study by Lancaster University which basically debunks this theory. The researchers showed a short film depicting a cell phone robbery. Two days later the subjects of the test were separated into three groups: 1 – recall the events freely then in reverse order, 2 – recall the robbery in reverse order first then freely, 3 - (control group) recall the events freely both times.

The researchers found that the control group recalled the events correctly 48.7 percent of the time. The group that began with reverse-recall and then recounted the story freely scored 42.2 percent accuracy. The group that started with free recall then reverse-recall scored a pathetic 38.7 percent. I think it’s important to note that eyewitness testimony has already been proven to be less than reliable on several occasions. Seriously, none of the groups achieved even 50% correct recall.

The most interesting finding, however, was that the number of mistakes made among the three groups was roughly the same, but the group that recalled events in reverse order first, actually made up (pure confabulation) recollections 600% more often than the control group.

The majority of the confabulations were observed during the reverse recall portion of the exam. This flies directly in the face of what I’ve been taught in seminars and classes about interview and interrogation.

Why people, people who have no reason whatsoever to lie, make up events when using reverse-recall is a mystery. The Economist says that this study, “…does, however, point out the dangers of taking even logically plausible ideas on trust, rather than testing them.”

Those of you who testify as expert witnesses in court proceedings might want to check out the study here. It could come in handy one day.

More on the Detrimental Impact of Too Many Rules

2011-08-30T14:12:00.000-05:00

Disclaimer: I have written about this topic within the past three (or five) years.

I received an email today titled, "Requirement." The sender of the email is a man in whom I place a great deal of trust. I admire him because he is a thinking man who considers issues with efficiency and caution. He, however, is a player in an industry that is gasping its last feeble breaths, thanks in large part to silly, knee-jerk regulations that are applied across an entire industry, regardless of whether or not they mean anything or add to the work product.

It seems that a small cadre of consultants has been in serious breach of a specific regulation. The rule, handed down from the towers of wisdom, requires all consultants to clearly state in every report whether or not the consultant has ever worked on a specific project in any capacity in the past three years. (There is some debate about the three year rule - should you report for a five year period, lifetime, etc. One particularly inept consultant, the one who gets really excited about the rules and making sure they are obeyed and implemented, even suggested that if you mowed the lawn for someone involved in a specific project in 1987 then you are required disclose that in the report.) To be clear: I have written about this topic within the past three (or five) years.

I always include this statement in my letter of transmittal, right up front, so that my clients are clear about any past activities with respect to any given assignment. Turns out, that's wrong. The statement MUST be included in a certification (one portion of the report that bears signatures), not in the letter (which happens to be another portion of the report that bears signatures, but who's counting?). If a consultant does these things he or she is in complete compliance with regulations, unless a client requests that it be included in the letter.

Oh, and just to be sure, probably better make mention of your past experience with a particular assignment in the history section as well, as required by many clients and as interpreted by some of those who reside in the aforementioned tower of wisdom (And that particularly inept consultant, the one who gets really excited about the rules and making sure they are obeyed and implemented.). Also, best make sure that you describe any changes in your analysis and why you made said changes.

So, we now have the exact same sentence included in a single report in three separate places. Inclusion of this sentence in no way increases the reliability of a given report. It does not add to credibility to the analysis. It does not, in any way, have any impact on the conclusions derived for a given assignment. But it's in there, as required.

Certification: I, Thomas H. Humphreys, do hereby certify that I have written about this topic within the past three (or five) years. The specific date upon which I penned my last post pertaining to this peturbance was March 3, 2011. In my last discourse describing the disturbing detriments of too many directives I discussed the broad over-arching framework of too many rules. I still hold that opinion. This post, the one written today, is not a departure from my previous analysis, rather a more specific example of the broader problem, an elucidation of the sheer idiocy and voluminousness of regulations mandated by the committees that oversee a certain industry.

The Sartorial Sleuth - The Well Dressed PI

2011-08-12T12:48:00.001-05:00

I think we’ve lost our way. Casual Fridays, corporate logos, and “authentic” hipsterism have shoved proper style to the back of the closet.

Sam Spade

There was a time when men dressed like men. Search for 1920s men’s style and you’ll see. Watch an episode of MadMen and you’ll see. Hell, even stream an episode of Rockford on NetFlix, you’ll see. Men used to dress like men. They had style.

The old-school gumshoes, creations of Dashiell Hammett and his contemporaries, dressed like gentlemen - though, it seems that everyone in that era dressed to impress. Let’s be clear, the clothes do not make a man a gentleman. We’ll just accept as a given that being a gentleman is the foundation upon which we’ll build our wardrobe.

I spend a lot of time with federal agents, detectives, and other private investigators. The feds understand: they apparently have a dress code. Police detectives sometimes get it (see this story about best dressed detectives). PIs are, quite possibly, the worst.

Still, in my cadre of private dicks, there’s a sense of professionalism that seems to demand a higher standard.

In the office and at leisure – The PI as Professional – Dolling up for clients

Client Meeting

Office - Appearance is key, first impressions paramount. I never go to a client meeting, deposition, or court without dressing for the occasion. My clients expect a certain style from me. I wear denim often and am completely comfortable going to meet a long term client sporting a pair of jeans, mid-tan shoes and belt, pressed oxford cloth shirt, and an odd jacket, maybe even a bow tie.

That’s as casual as I get. For depositions, a pair of gabardine slacks, likely grey, nice sport coat, and definitely a tie. Court demands a suit, sometimes three-piece, but always a suit.

The minutia

These are fairly easy ideas to grasp. It’s the minutia that makes a difference. Ties, pocket squares, cuff-links, these small items add color and elegance to any outfit. Ties should be classic and colorful. Ties should never have products or cartoons patterned across them, never. Pocket squares should not match the tie, rather complement it. Again, color and quality are of utmost importance. Cuff-links should be metal, simple, and match your belt buckle and watch.

Leisure – Those of you who read the [FIND] Investigations blog on a regular basis know my fondness for a hand-crafted cocktail and fine wine. I love cocktail hour. Here in Nashville, we usually head to The Patterson House or the Oak Bar for cocktail hour. It amazes me how people show up to a classy bar in shorts and t-shirt.

When we host our Bow Ties and Bourbon events once a month at The Patterson House, everyone is encouraged to dress. The wonderful thing is this: a table full of judges, lawyers, investigators all in their finery somehow makes the whole joint feel classier, like a throwback to yesteryear, gentlemen and ladies behaving as such.

Again, these are the faces we show in our capacity as professionals. The real fun starts when the work begins.

In the field – The PI on surveillance – blending in

Assignment – Surveillance

Location – New Orleans

Weather – Sweltering hot with turgid skies

Time – 9:00 PM – until

Conveyance – Foot mobile

This is where creativity and a sense of style allow the professional investigator to blend in perfectly.

Pocket Square and Seersucker

Last month we traveled to NOLA for a bit of sub-rosa work. Our team costumed to match the surroundings. White linen pants and a seersucker jacket, with a rich red pocket square, allowed us to melt into the background at Galatoires, all the while observing our subject and documenting his activities. We strolled, in a classic front-and-follow maneuver, across Canal Street to the Sazerac Bar in the Roosevelt Hotel over on Baronne, never once drawing unwanted attention. We sidled up to the bar and continued our surveillance (unfortunate mocktails in hand), the subject completely unawares.

It’s not always like this. Sometimes you have to get down and dirty (trash collectors uniform, hard hat, safety-vest), but it’s the urban neighborhood surveillance that allows us to have a bit of fun, look like we give a shit, and blend in at the same time.

This little exercise in styling a PI for a specific job is our introduction to a quarterly column under the Sartorial Sleuth heading. We’re going to call this tri-monthly exercise The Sartorial Sleuth, dressed for success(ful surveillance).

Innovation : Investigation - Open your mind

2011-08-08T09:59:00.001-05:00

[FIND] Lexicon: Innovation: noun \ˌi-nə-ˈvā-shən\ 1 : the introduction of something new 2 : a new idea, method, or device

Harvard business professor and acclaimed author Clay Christensen leads the way in studies of innovation, says the latest issue of The Economist. He penned three books on the topic over the last 15 years: "The Innovator's Dilemma," "Disrupting Class: How Disruptive Innovation Will Change the Way the World Learns," and "The Innovator's DNA: Mastering the Five Skills of Disruptive Innovators."

In the latter, Christensen cites five habits of mind that lead to disruptive innovation: associating, questioning, observing, networking, and experimenting.

Sounds a lot like the habits of mind required to be a solid investigator. Let's break it down:

Associating - Professional investigators, the ones with whom you would want to work, always seek to broaden their associations. When a new detective hangs her shingle, I try to reach out. There's always something to learn from another professional. From the obvious organizational associations (ACFE, AIIP, etc.) to the simple teaming up with another investigator (or company) to attack a problem, associating can lead you to new ideas and methods.

Questioning - This one is pretty obvious. We, as professional investigators, constantly question methods, practices, and approaches to problems. We question motives, actions, and behavior. Questioning our methods and practices, though, tends to lead to the highest return in innovation.

Observing - Again, this one is fairly self evident. We observe. Surveillance, research, study, all methods of observation that we employ on a daily basis. The best detectives, however, turn that methodical study of behavior on themselves and their competition as well as their subjects. Watch how other people do their work. There's always something one can learn.

Networking - Networking is key to any business, any endeavor, any social exercise. When traveling, [FIND] Investigations staff is encouraged to look up a local PI with whom to share a coffee or a cocktail. It's almost mandatory. The network of friends, investigators, LEO, and researchers we've built over the years is our primary source for help, referrals, and new ideas. I could go on and on on this point, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc. - all fine tools, implements that allow us to grow a superficial network of "friends." But when it comes to people to whom you can turn for advice, direction, and assistance, a web of actual people is invaluable. With that web of real people, social networking tools (FB, TW, LI, etc.) become a way to maintain those relationships.

Experimenting - Always, always, always try new things. Sometimes you may push the envelope more than you should (maybe even face a criminal trespass charge along the way), but without trying new ideas, new methods, new tools, you will never grow as an investigator. I've heard way too many people in this profession say, "That's just how we've always done it." Well, the day I utter that phrase, please shoot me. [FIND] Investigations likes to partner with tech geeks and information nerds, anything to shift the POV and see a problem in a new way. Processes are good, standards are necessary, but if you never push, you'll never excel and certainly never be an innovator.

Final thoughts - Disruptive innovation, that leap or step forward that makes a "ding in the universe" requires an open mind. All of the traits detailed by Christensen hint at one basic tenet: keep your mind open.

[FIND] Vice - Ratchet up Your Adrenaline with Sam Capra

2011-07-21T14:06:00.000-05:00

Latest offering from Jeff Abbott

Sam Capra, the unassuming hero of Adrenaline, looks like Joe-anybody, doesn't stand out in a crowd. He's a wiry character, standing six feet tall, with dirty blond hair and blue eyes. And he runs Parkour for fun and fitness, vaulting himself over and up walls with grace and ease. He also, within one week of being introduced, propelled himself onto several best seller lists, 23 in the New York Times, 20 in Publishers Weekly, two of the standards in the industry.

We caught up with internationally acclaimed author Jeff Abbott (Capra's creator) between book signings and interviews on Friday afternoon last week. Abbott says of Capra, "Sometimes, because he's sort of trim and not a big bulky guy, the bad guys underestimate him.

"[Sam] can't handle everything that he gets into, that would be pretty boring," says Abbott. But he can hold his own.

Abbott has crafted in Capra a new kind of hero. He's good looking, but he doesn't know it. He's young for the genre, only 25 years old. But in spite of his youth, he's quick of wit, fleet of feet, and, thanks to world-traveling aid-worker parents and extensive CIA training, he's - well - extremely capable.

In one scene from Adrenaline, Abbott's 12th book, our hero Sam Capra faces a crew of roughnecks in a bar fight. "His first thought is you actually take the biggest guy down first," Abbott says, "That will affect the emotions of the others. This may not be true, but he's - that's how he's thinking - strategically." That's about what one would expect from a recently defrocked CIA operative: efficient, thoughtful, strategic - extremely capable.

Mr. Capra, in the course of this first-in-a-series novel, comes into ownership of a number of bars around the globe. While he's not prone to vice, Capra (like so many spies and PIs) savors a fine cocktail. Upon entering one of his newly acquired watering holes for the first time, Abbott says. "[Sam's] happy to see that they are mixing the cocktails with care."

So I think it's safe to say that were Capra to own a bar in Nashville, it would likely be The Patterson House, where they, as Abbot would say, "know what they are doing." For the [FIND] Vice cocktail pairing—this month with our newly introduced action hero, Sam Capra—James Hensley has lent us one of his favorite, hand-crafted summer drinks.

The Montgomery Fizz

2 oz Tanqueray

1/8 oz La Muse Vert Absinthe

3/4 oz Fresh lime juice

3/4 oz Ginger syrup

2 sprigs of mint

1 Splash of tonic water and club soda

Bruise the mint in the bottom of a mixing tin and then add the other ingredients. Shake briefly and strain into a collins glass filled with ice. Top with a splash of tonic water and club soda. Garnish with a mint sprig and a piece of ginger candy.

*Two things you need to do right now: Pick up a copy of Adrenaline, by Jeff Abbott and drop by The Patterson House for a Montgomery Fizz. You'll be glad on both counts.

A Tiny Fraud that Costs Billions

2011-07-14T16:06:00.002-05:00

Today WBUR's Here and Now interviewed Rachel Shteir, author of a new book exploring shoplifting from historical, psychological, and philosophical points of view. To listen to the interview and read an excerpt of the book, click here.

Every year, shoplifting costs retailers billions, says Rachel Shteir, author of The Steal: A Cultural History of Shoplifting. Here are a few more facts she compiled, in her comprehensive exploration of this widespread but ill-understood crime:

In 2009, a survey estimated shoplifting losses at $11.69 billion annually. (source: University of Forida National Retail Security Survey)
Shoplifting increases the price we pay for goods every year by about $400.
In 2008, an estimated 1,000,000 shoplifting offenses were committed. (source: Dept. of Justice survey, "Uniform Crime Reports")
In 2008, shoplifting stats spiked in some cities, climbing 18.7% in Long Beach, CA and 40.6% in L.A. (source: UCR)
Store security catches an estimated 1 in 48 incidences of shoplifting. (source: National Association for Shoplifting Prevention)

Retailers and private security companies are reluctant to talk about this epidemic, as we learned when our own Thomas Humphreys, PI reported on shoplifting for Marketplace two years ago. (Gumshoe Finds Who's Got Sticky Fingers, Marketplace, Oct. 2009) We also learned that even though many retailers may feel that an economic downturn fuels people's "need" to steal, the facts are more difficult to pin down.
Our law enforcement sources insist that shoplifters aren't usually stealing out of need, and Shteir agrees. She says their motives are far more complicated, and differ widely. Some steal out of a sense of perceived grievance: I deserve this thing. Others are looking for a dose of excitement or danger: Think Winona Ryder. And many simply want a luxury item they can't afford. After speaking with dozens of admitted shoplifters, Shteir concludes that there are no easy answers, and offers this insight:

"Many shoplifters see themselves as escape artists, stealing out of inscrutable cravings and unexamined desires. Having lost their old solaces, people shoplift as an anodyne against grief or to avenge themselves against uncontrollable forces or as an act of social aggression, to hurl themselves away from their identities as almost-have-nots. Whatever form shoplifting takes, it is as difﬁcult to stamp out as oil spills or alcoholism." - excerpted from The Steal: A Cultural History of Shoplifting, by Rachel Shteir

The Sartorial Sleuth: Dressing for the Southern Summer Swelter

2011-07-12T10:49:00.005-05:00

Linen and seersucker in NOLA

It's July in Tennessee. It is hot, painfully hot. A sticky, drippy, thick morass of hot. I have friends who refuse to wear shorts, except in the pursuit of some athletic feat. I have friends who refuse, simply refuse, to be seen in public without at least a sport coat (odd jacket). There are, however, times when it's just not practical to dress to the nines, at least in our line of work. July in the South is one of those times.

We, of the [FIND] team slogged our way south to New Orleans a couple of weeks ago. It was hot, painfully hot...we scorched our way south along 65 and 59, through Birmingham, Hattiesburg, and Picayune, chasing puddles that disappeared as we drew closer to New Orleans in the peak of mid-afternoon swelter.

Two things I always carry when traveling around the South. A good quality straw hat, and a guayabera shirt. The former is a personal style choice that, I would suggest, deserves some serious consideration. The latter, well, the guayabera is difficult.

The Hat - Lately, young hipsters across the nation wear hats again, cool hats, slick hats, hats with brims so narrow, they look almost comical. Very few of them actually pull the look off. Most, in fact, look like either a caricature of some 1950's dandy or a hayseed rube about to open a closet that will empty onto their heads in fine slapstick fashion. There are some, however, who nail it.

My bartender gets it. Patrick rarely penetrates the out-of-doors without a top on. He wears a vintage variation on the Stetson carry hat, in black, dark grey, and a beautiful taupe. The brims on Patrick's hats rarely exceed two inches but are never less than one-and-a-half. He wears them straight up, not cocked to the side or tipped precariously on the back of his crown. If you want to see a perfect example of a man who understands men's hat style and how to do it, just swing by Rumours Wine Bar on 12th South in Nashville. Ask for Patrick, or just look for the dapper young man in the cool hat.

I have a huge head and broad shoulders. I've searched for years for the perfect hat. I have a Borsellino that fits, is exquisitely crafted, and somehow still doesn't quite work. I have owned a number of stingy-brimmed-hipster-hats over the years, but they just look silly. I found, three years ago, at Meyer the Hatter in NOLA, the perfect hat for me. The Biltmore Milan, center crease (since re-blocked), is my hat. It fits. It looks classic. It looks nice, without looking too spiffy. I wear this hat almost all summer long. Casual or dressy, it just works - for me.

Humpreys sports a Biltmore Milan at the Cafe du Monde

The Shirt - In the last Sartorial Sleuth entry, we discussed the finer points of seersucker as a weapon to defeat the heat. Sometimes, though, especially in our business, a suit or even an odd jacket is just too much. So, the question stands: how do you look like a man of style and wear a short sleeved shirt?

T-shirts: no. Especially the ironic kind. Seriously, we're grown ups. (exceptions include: beach, boats, canoes, and most sporting endeavors)

Short sleeved dress shirts: Dilbert. I cannot stress this enough: there is no way to look like a stylish, even non-idiotic, person in a short-sleeved-bepocketed-button-down-oxford-cloth-shirt, not possible at all.

The only shirt I've found that scratches my itch for comfort and style is the classic dictator's man-blouse, the guayabera. The guayabera, like a bow-tie, takes a bit of stones to execute successfully. You kinda have to just go for it. But the benefits abound.

Hit or miss? Your call.

Style: From the fat-guy-golf-friendly cubavera (which I don't suggest) to the hand-crafted-Cuban-made custom (which I do suggest), there are colors, fabrics, and variations on the cut that can suit any man. I prefer classic white linen or a cotton blend in a subdued color (earth tone or black). I own two of these shirts, one black and one white, both purchased at Meyer the Hatter in New Orleans, both perfect for a casual night on the town.

If you're working surveillance in the Quarter, shorts and a black guayabera blend in perfectly. If you're stepping out with your lady for a glass of red wine, black guayabera and a pair of off white linen slacks looks fantastic (careful with the red wine and linen pants). Likewise, a pair of Imogene + Willie jeans paired with a white guayabera looks absolutely stylish.

I know that some of you will disagree. I know that some of you prefer to maintain a facade of sartorial snobbery that excludes the lesser forms of style. But, there are times when it's just too &^%$#@! hot to wear a suit. It's okay to look good and be comfortable at the same time.

All Investigations Lead to...Porn?

2011-07-08T11:27:00.000-05:00

It all started with a joke.

"All investigations seem to lead to pornography," quipped Ryan Hubbs, a senior manager for Matson, Driscoll & Damico, Forensic Accountants, chatting with a group of colleagues at an ACFE conference a few years ago.

Hubbs had spotted an odd pattern. Time after time, as he investigated claims of contractor fraud or embezzlement, he'd uncover a little something on the side, such as additional accusations of bullying or harassment or, most frequently, pornography downloaded onto an accused employee's computer.

His joke struck a nerve. "We started talking about it," he recalls, "and everybody else said, 'You know, I've had some cases where after we did the forensic analysis, we found the guy was also investigated for sexual harassment.'" That's when Hubbs started to wonder whether what he was seeing was mere coincidence, or correlation.

"The correlation is somewhere between zero and a hundred percent," Hubbs jokes, admitting that he's no social scientist. Plenty of people, he contends, have glanced at a sexy photo or two online without ever going on to commit fraud. He's reluctant to draw any absolute conclusions about correlation or causality.

But as a professional fraud examiner, he is a keen observer of human behavior. And in his fascinating lecture at the San Diego ACFE conference in June, he shared those observations and posed a question to fellow investigators: What if we could search out fraudsters by zeroing in on employees who download porn or have been reported for bullying or harassing co-workers? Is there a strong enough correlation between outright fraud and other "deviant" behaviors to use those behaviors as markers?

Hubbs defines deviant behavior as any practice that falls outside of the law, societal norms, or company policies. And although looking at girlie pictures might be considered a ubiquitous enough practice to fall within societal norms on one's own time, it's still not considered an acceptable work activity, and it carries with it certain risks to employers. "Not only do you have hostile work claims which can (lead to) lawsuits," he says. "But in doing these types of investigations over the years, I've seen some people continue to spiral down, from regular nudity to hard-core porn…and some individuals move into the child porn arena.

"Imagine if they save that onto the main server," Hubbs adds. "When the FBI comes in…they take the whole server."

Deviance is relative, Hubbs admits. "What is deviant behavior today might not be deviant behavior 20 years from now." And he says that most of us do things every day that might deviate from laws, norms, or workplace policies.

But a good investigator with strong instincts about human behavior and motivations, he asserts, might be able to sniff out financial malfeasance by focusing on patterns of behavior that reveal an employee's or contractor's…proclivities. If a person tends towards risky behaviors, like downloading thousands of pornographic images onto his work computer or texting inappropriate messages or images to co-workers, he might also take risks in other ways, like fudging expenses or rigging bids.

Hubbs's hypothesis has fellow investigators intrigued. He gets lots of questions he can't answer, because there's just not enough research out there yet to support his ideas with hard numbers. He's not offering a solution, just posing a challenge to his colleagues to observe and find out more.

"Look, I just kind of kicked this ball onto the court," he says. "You guys can take it any direction you want to go. This is an observation that I had over the years, and wanted to pose it to the rest of the populace to see if it's useful and what else can we learn from this."

-KDG

The Sartorial Sleuth - Here's how it's done

2011-06-21T11:09:00.003-05:00

Dr. Churchwell, via A Suitable Wardrobe

Kim and I pedaled our bikes down 12th Avenue South on Sunday night in search of a cool glass of wine. Our usual haunt, Rumours, was closed for the night, so we dismounted and walked our bicycles across 12th, chained them to the bench in front of Fish & Co. and strolled inside, sweaty and ready for a drink.

A family of four sat in the booth directly behind us. They were trying to watch the Cubs v. Yankee's game and we were in their line of sight. I recognized the man at the table. Had I met him in the course of work? Had I seen him in court? From the neighborhood?

Then it hit me: I've been studying this man's style for the past several months on A Suitable Wardrobe, one of the best style blogs around. Dr. Andre Churchwell, Nashville's best dressed man. I introduced myself and told him of my semi-stalking practices. He smiled that beautiful smile and introduced Kim and me to his family.

Kim noticed his carnation and commented that I should adopt that practice. Dr. Churchwell entertained us for the next few minutes with a history of the carnation, the button on the lapel, and its importance to Napoleon's army.

In lieu of a long-winded post with my personal ideas of style, I point you now to A Suitable Wardrobe and the series of posts titled, Man In Style. Thank you Dr. Churchwell for a wonderful evening and thank you Will for bringing Dr. Churchwell to our attention.

[FIND] Lexicon - Discourse Analysis

2011-06-21T09:42:00.000-05:00

"In the end, discourse analysis is one way to engage in a very important human task. The task is this: to think more deeply about the meanings we give people's words so as to make ourselves better, more humane people and the world a better, more humane place."
- J. P. Gee

Don Rabon, former Deputy Director of the North Carolina Department of Justice, recently gave a lecture at the ACFE 22nd Annual Fraud Conference. Mr. Rabon is quite possibly a genius. After listening intently for 80 minutes about interview techniques, tied logically to historical literature (Interviewing From Head to Poe), I found myself lost in words; the dissection of words, the parsing of sentences, and the importance of listening and recording (documenting).

I left the class and near sprinted to the ACFE Bookstore, set up in the voluminous exhibit hall, and picked up my first Don Rabon book, Investigative Discourse Analysis. I read the book on the way home on a long flight from San Diego back to Nashville. It's a language nerd's dream.

Upon arriving back at my office the following day, I tried a small experiment. Several months ago a long time client asked me to look into a couple of emails he had received. They weren't necessarily threatening, but they were - just mean. We tried to identify the sender and have a strong idea who the passive-aggressive-cyber-punk was. We could not, however, tie them specifically to the emails. They used a gmail account, more on that at a later date, which when used properly is a fantastic way to mask one's identity.

We did have one email from the suspected ill-meaning-emailer denying all knowledge of the affair. Well, I put that denial email, the statement, under serious scrutiny using Mr. Rabon's book as a guide.

Structure - The email, the suspect's statement, showed structural imbalance, indicating that it was deceptive on its form. The anonymous-jackass-email-fiend told her account of the incident. The prologue made up roughly 10% of the narrative. The actual event (the sending of the email) took up 30%. The remaining 60% of the text was dedicated to the epilogue and a string of negations and denials. Structurally, this narrative is seriously indicative of deception, but it was the analysis of specific words that caught my attention.

Word Choice - The disgruntled-email-bully used the pronoun I, exclusively, throughout the first part of the email. She switched to a near exclusive use of the pronoun Me in the last part of the narrative. Indicating that she had somehow a passive role, almost a victim.

Sentence Length - When the narrative turned to the actual event, her Mean Length of Utterance (MLU) dropped from a Mean of 13.3 to truncated sentences of 5 to 7 words or less. Further indication of deception.

Other issues - The denial email, which again equated to a statement, had several other issues. The most interesting point I noted in the email was the bookending of the statement, first sentence and last sentence, with abjuration (I don't mean to upset you, but...).

I would not feel comfortable approaching a court, a lawyer, or a jury with my brief analysis. I do not possess the skill and training to apply this type of analysis in detail or for court testimony. I do, however, feel comfortable that we now know, based an analysis of the denial email, who wrote the original string of nasty notes.

This, for me, falls into the category of simply cool. If you get the chance, click over to Amazon or the ACFE bookstore and pick up a copy of Don Rabon's book, Investigative Discourse Analysis.

ACFE Fraud Conference - Day 3

2011-06-15T12:14:00.001-05:00

All of the sessions today, at least the ones I attended, were informative and entertaining. The class on interview skills was particularly creative. Don Rabon, the North Carolinian with the brilliant southern accent and winner of the ACFE speaker of the year award, managed to tie interview skills to literary references from Shakespeare to Poe. Mr. Rabon clicked his way through a deck of slides and videos like a presenter at a TED conference. If you ever have the chance, take a class, any class, taught by Don Rabon, do it.

The cocktail party on the roof of the Hard Rock Cafe extended well past the allotted two and a half hours. It seems these fraud fighters know how to throw a party. Great chance to hang out with some old friends and meet several new friends.

More later.

ACFE Fraud Conference - Day 2

2011-06-14T10:04:00.003-05:00

As usual, The ACFE has hosted a magnificent event. From the opening ceremony to the last session of the day, entertaining and informative.

I particularly enjoyed the talk from Joan Pastor in the morning general session. Ms. Pastor took the podium after the opening speeches and owned the room for far too short a time. I could have listened to her all morning. I am officially begging the ACFE to bring her back for more.

My favorite part of the day, aside from the evening cocktails, was a presentation on how technology has changed fraud investigation. Jean-Francois Legault is a large man, very large man, with a personality to match. He is a perfect example of the level of professionalism and skill that the ACFE has amassed. Professional experience paired with presentation skills, and what appears to be a very healthy avoidance of the standard bullet-point-boresome-PowerPoint-sleep-aid usually employed by Conference speakers. Thank you Mr. Legault.

Assuming I have the energy, I'll try and post again this afternoon. We'll see.

ACFE Fraud Conference - Day 1 (Part 2)

2011-06-12T20:00:00.001-05:00

As usual, the ACFE delivers with a great educational offering, Social Networking. Ms. Hetherington put on a fantastic show. @data2know...She fishes, plays golf, and fights fraud... How cool can a person be.

ACFE Fraud Conference - Day 1 (part 1)

2011-06-12T09:29:00.002-05:00

I got in last night around 7:00. Checked in, settled in, and struck out in search of a good martini. Found one at Royal India. There was an ACFE sign in the window.

This morning I strolled the Gaslamp and noticed that most restaurants have an ACFE sign in the window, including the Gaslamp Strip Club, which gave me pause. Turns out it's a steak house.

Not sure what to expect from the next several days, but I'm looking forward to learning a lot and meeting some good people.

More later.

[FIND] Vice - Jim Rockford

2011-05-27T14:36:00.018-05:00

"This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message; I'll get back to you." - Answering machine message at the Rockford Agency.

It's sometimes hard to craft a story about someone you idolize. Jim Rockford, for lots of people my age and older, is the iconic modern private investigator. There were others before and of course there's magnum and that passel of PIs that came later, but Rockford is, for many, simply the best.

He lived in a trailer (that seconded as an office), drove a gold Pontiac Firebird, and owned a handgun that, according to him, "I just point it. I don't shoot." Rockford entertained flight attendants on layover, continuously bothered his cop buddies, and spent quality time with his old man, Rocky (see photo at right).

He was, as was the era, a bit of a sartorial mess. But he had a life that most men envied.

An ex-con: "I was pardoned."

An optimist: "Yeah but look at it this way, an inch or two to the left and he'd have missed me completely."

A fair fighter: "Ow. If I could do that without a roll of quarters in my hand, I'd be a terror."

A coiner of classic phrases: "Freeze turkey!"

The Rockford Files was a virtual one-liner factory and James Gardner could deliver those lines like no other. So, it is with respect, admiration, and honor that we at [FIND] Investigations bring you this months [FIND] Vice:

The Cocktail - actually a guest post from our friends over at Q103 in Albany, NY, with the perfect tag line: Go Rock (ford) Yourself. Thank you Brian Bushner, Digital Program Director at Townsquare Media for a fantastic guest appearance here at [FIND] Vice. Here's what Brian has to say:

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What Beer Would Jim Rockford Drink?

I’m a huge fan of Classic TV shows – call it part of my nerd charm. I watch The Rockford Files nearly every night and I’m pretty annoyed that NBC is so out of ideas that they are going to remake this classic. So I ask the big question: what would Jim Rockford drink?

When Jim wasn’t being shot at while working on a case that he'd likely never get paid for, he enjoyed sitting in his trailer eating Oreos, or going out to a good steak dinner, or a spicy taco from his favorite restaurant, Casa Taco. Jim always had a beer too with that stuff. Usually it was in a can at home or what I’m pretty sure was a lager at a restaurant or bar.

Beer was pretty boring in the mid to late 1970s. Beers popular at that time included Miller High Life, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Schlitz, and a very limited supply of imported beers for variety. Things started getting better when the ban on homebrewing was lifted in October 1978. The entire microbrewery movement is a fairly recent thing too.

Basically, Rockford was a beer lover with limited options. But if he could sip a cold one today, here are a few I'd like to pair with his favorite three foods:

Oreos – best known for dunking in milk, dunk in beer at your own risk. I’d say a chocolate and vanilla stout. Breckenridge Brewery makes an awesome vanilla stout, and the Creme Brulee Stout from Southern Tier Brewing Company goes perfectly with Oreos. Very vanilla scent, along with some chocolate and both scents translate to flavor.

Steak dinner? I’d go with the Brown Ale from Brooklyn Brewery, a great beer which isn’t too heavy. It goes well with a hearty meal, and the flavor pairing with steak is phenomenal. This beer smells like maple and brown sugar. The sweet chestnut flavors mixed with beef (especially grilled) plays a symphony of delight in your mouth. This beer has a low alcohol content so it’s okay to have a second one because once you taste the flavor combinations you’ll want to keep the flavor flowing.

Jim also liked a “spicy taco” from a fictional local joint. Usually I suggest anything with lots of hops, like an IPA, with a spicy food because the hops help cool the burn and the bitter + spicy flavor contrast is one of my favorites.

Let’s pair Redhook ESB with the spicy taco. The sweet/butter flavors with the spice kicks the flavor up a notch. There are enough hops in this beer to take it a step further and have it with a spicy fish taco. If you take a sip of this as a chaser, the fish flavor returns for a second quick round. It’s a neat flavor trick!

Not sure if Jim would actually drink all that but it was fun to speculate, no?

Thanks again to our friends over at Albany's very own Q103, Go Rock Yourself.

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The Cigar - Actually a cigar
By: Joe Zike, Cigar Expert, formerly of UpTown's Smoke Shop.

Padron 1926 Anniversary Series

Length: 5-1/2"

Ring Gauge: 52

Filler: Nicaraguan

Binder: Nicaraguan

Wrapper: Nicaraguan Maduro

Rockford knows how to relax, and he's going to need to after getting caught up in his friends' activities, a bathroom brawl or two, and a car chase in his Pontiac Firebird. He'll take time out to go fishing, and he's gonna bring a cigar along. It'd be the Padron 1926 Anniversary Series #2 maduro. Its dark wrapper gives the cigar a creamy undertone. As the cigar smokes, peppery spice and hickory notes alternate and are kept in check by the creamy undertone. Whether he catches any fish or not doesn't matter.

On a personal note: We said a temporary goodbye to out friend Joe last Wednesday night. He's off to Germany for a summer internship at journalism school. We're proud of Joe and we wish him well. Give us a call when you get back this direction, we'll share a cigar and a glass of wine at Rumours.

The Sartorial Sleuth - Seersuckers and Sazeracs

2011-05-24T15:53:00.002-05:00

Shir o Shekar, the Persian phrase for milk and sugar – say it fast enough, soften up those r’s, throw in a slight drawl, and it starts to phonetically blend into one sweet sounding word, seersucker. Yes seersucker, that ubiquitous southern suit material that makes fat men look slim and tall men look gigantic. Pale blue and white stripes alternate in a soldiered pattern, due north-south, into the classic Deep South attire.

Why, you ask, do southern men insist on wearing this vestige of poverty? Well…it’s a matter of practicality. When the thermometer strains near its upper extent and the hygrometer drips condensate, unable to measure above 100, even the gentlest wool blend will send the heartiest man tilting for conditioned air.

I worked an assignment in New Orleans years ago, last of July first of August, camped out in the Quarter. The job demanded two weeks of research and interviews in the hottest, most humid city in the country. Now, I love New Orleans, but I did not at the time fully understand the pain that the Crescent City can inflict on a man in a suit in the sweltering, never-ending, afternoons of late summer.

I strolled into a lawyer's office soaked to the bone, embarrassed, and about to pass out. The young receptionist looked up from her Robicheaux novel and eyed me with pity. “Aww sweetie,” she said, “you got on the wrong suit.”

Nobody told me. I was young. Standing there in a puddle of sweat, I sheepishly peeled my dark brown suit coat off to reveal a formerly pale blue shirt, now dark blue, nearly the color of rivers you don’t find in Louisiana.

She offered me—at three o’clock in the afternoon—a mint julep, or an ice-tea. I took both, along with a white terrycloth towel to mop my head and neck. I gulped the tea, gulped the julep, asked for more tea, and downed another julep. It was there in the artificial chill of the one glass tower in New Orleans that I received my first lesson in the sartorial anomalies of the Deep South.

“Don’t wear that suit again.” she said. “Go out this afternoon and pick you up a poplin or a seersucker,” she said. “Do it. Don’t worry bout the sweat, that’s just gonna happen.”

The attorney I was to meet swaggered his way down the hall towards the reception area, mint julep, large mint julep, in hand. He wore the most astonishing assuredness. His white shirt, still damp up the front, across the chest, under the arms, looked somehow crisp. His soft yellow tie was loosed just a bit. But his seersucker pants, that’s what caught my attention, blue and white stripes terminating both top and bottom into mid-tan leather. Fantastic, I thought. Fantastic.

It’s summer in Tennessee again. Cicadas, after thirteen quiet years, have emerged to sing their undulating song. The hygrometer shimmers in a turgid, almost angry way. Clouds boil up, threaten, and then dissipate. The air is, as my grandmother used to say, thick.

I’ve packed my wool for the winter, never wanting to hear that phrase, “you got on the wrong suit,” again. My poplin odd jacket is the go to for the next several months. I’m still looking for that perfect seersucker suit, though.

My plan is to find one by next Wednesday, the first of June. That’s right, the first Wednesday of the month, Patterson House time. We’ll be sitting on the back porch, cocktails in hand, poplin or seersucker all around. Bow ties are still encouraged, but this month the theme is Seersuckers and Sazeracs. Join us if you can.

What Private Investigators Can Learn From Savile Row

2011-05-11T14:39:00.002-05:00

‘Bespoke’ is actually a term from the 17th Century, when tailors held the full lengths of cloth on the premises. When a customer chose a length of material, it was said to have “been spoken for." … More than 20 measurements and figuration details are taken from the customer. Then a personal pattern will be hand-drafted and cut from scratch—not the basic, adjusted template pattern, as used by so many other tailors these days. Using your pattern, the cloth is then cut and trimmed, along with the finest linings and silks available. A single tailor is then given the parts of the garment to sew together, from the earliest fitting stages, to the final, complete suit. Each suit is completely hand-made, even down to the button holes.

- Thomas Mahon, Savile Row Tailor

Off-The-Rack and Made-To-Measure Investigations

There are several companies that provide off-the-shelf options for investigations. These larger “investigative agencies” offer pre-selected criteria, a pre-existing template, on which to base their investigations. These are usually database searches and they are usually based on outdated public records. A few of the larger agencies offer similar made-to-measure options where they offer a pre-priced set of services including limited surveillance, background checks, and minimal actual investigative work.

The problem is, these larger firms offer simple variations on the theme of off-the-shelf and made-to-measure services. These firms have size and resources, but they lack fundamental skills. Engaging these firms for investigations is like buying a suit from Men’s Warehouse. They may look impressive. But will their work hold up? These “investigations” are inexpensive and, like a cheap suit, they fall apart under stress and scrutiny.

Bespoke Investigations

The true professional investigative firm operates more along the lines of a bespoke tailor, a boutique style business that demands hard work and long hours. The cost is typically much higher, but the quality is assuredly superior.

It’s fairly clear to me what we, as investigators, can learn from Savile Row. The process of crafting a bespoke suit is not at all different from fashioning a scope of work for an investigation. Each situation, like each person, is different.

A bespoke tailor will visit with his client, get a sense of the person’s style and attitude. They will measure and craft. They will select tools and cloth specifically for the client. They will, in a sense, create a scope of work.

A professional investigator will do much the same. They will meet with the client, interview him and make notes, get to know the situation as much as possible. They will measure the options to craft a complete scope of work. They will select tools and methods specifically for the client. They will, in a sense, hand-craft a pattern for the investigation.

[FIND] Investigations’ Approach

We are a boutique agency. We spend time with our clients, hand craft a strategy, and assign one professional investigator to oversee each case. We pool our resources, our contacts, our combined expertise to create a scope of work that applies specifically to each client’s case. Each case is hand made, right down to the button holes.

Fall of the House of Howrey

2011-05-10T12:42:00.014-05:00

Here's an idea...Outsource...
I shared brunch with a lawyer friend this morning. She knows I am a private investigator, a professional investigator with recognized credentials. She knows I have a quarter century of experience in real estate transactional due diligence. It never occurred to her, however, until our brunch conversation, that she could leverage my expertise.

This week's The Economist has a two-page story about the legal industry in America. They use Howrey (one of the world’s top 100 law firms) as an example of sea-change facing the profession. Aside from bankruptcy, securities litigation, and regulation issues, the world of 700 member law firms has been hit hard. Gone are the lucrative mergers and acquisitions (M&A), and it seems that clients are seeking, even demanding, alternatives to the ubiquitous billable hour.

Here in the States alone the legal profession shed nearly 10,000 lawyers in 2009 and 2010. That’s pushing 8% of the total professionals practicing in the 250 firms surveyed. Recent graduates of prestigious law schools are working for scraps. It seems that clients are no longer content to have an associate work their case at a partner’s billable rate.

One point The Economist makes: clients are demanding “…that their lawyers pass certain routine work to cheaper contractors.” While this is potentially bad for some lawyers, it's likely fantastic for highly qualified third parties (i.e., Certified Fraud Examiners, professional investigators, and industry specific experts) and software providers.

Back in the day a firm could pay a salaried associate to paw through files in search of evidence. Now e-discovery software has virtually eliminated that need.

Expert Opinions - It used to be that an associate could read up on a topic and brief the partner, each being paid handsomely for the private course of study. Now, more often than not, it makes more since to bring in a qualified expert in certain fields, pay them a flat fee or lower hourly rate, and likely be better informed in the long run.

The Economist points out that law firms can guarantee themselves work by becoming “…experts in other industries, not just areas of legal practice.” An alternative to this, The Economist points out, would be outsourcing the expertise.

That’s where we come in. That’s where my friend made the connection. She can leverage my expertise, my firm’s collective experience, and craft herself into a linchpin for her firm. When you’re faced with the necessity to acquire industry-specific knowledge, give some thought to outsourcing that need.

Routine/Repetitive Tasks – Locating and interviewing witnesses, identifying and locating assets, all of these are things a lawyer can do. However, it may be more financially feasible to outsource that work to a professional investigator. Two reasons come to mind.

First, a professional investigator has the skill set, connections, and tools to complete these tasks efficiently. This translates into less time (Time = Money). Second, while our rates are at the upper end of the spectrum for investigators, we’re still well below the hourly rate of partners in most law firms.

The following list offers a small sampling of the services professional investigators provide, often freeing the lawyer to focus on more productive issues.

Conflicts of Interest Search –self-dealing, and hidden business interests.

Personal History Research – records for divorces, civil lawsuits, etc.

Professional History Research – detection of resume fraud.

Regulatory Issues Research – complaints by state and federal regulators.

Criminal History Research –national, regional, and county-by-county records for DUI, solicitation of prostitution, and other criminal issues.

Financial Status Analysis – tax liens, civil judgments, etc. review financial statements, lifestyle audits, etc.

Assets Location and Analysis – location of assets, real and personal. Chain or title, in-depth transaction analysis, identification of personal and corporate ownership.

Liabilities Identification – tax liens, outstanding debt, mortgages, civil judgments, etc.

Locating Witnesses – locate and interview potential witnesses for litigation prep.

Service of Process – when that person who needs serving is hard to find.

“Many bosses of law firms,” says The Economist, “realize that the profession is changing in ways that will be uncomfortable for some.” Those who utilize their resources, leverage their relationships with experts (CFE’s, Professional Investigators, etc.) in the most efficient manner, will be the ones to succeed.

[FIND] Vice - Dirk Gently

2011-05-03T15:50:00.002-05:00

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. - Dirk Gently

The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it which the merely improbable lacks. – Dirk Gently

Dirk Gently is the founder and proprietor of Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, a boutique firm that solves mysteries of murder and lost cats. I can not in good faith begin to explain Dirk Gently to those of you who are unfamiliar. I will simply provide you with a taste of Douglas Adams’s brilliance excerpted from The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul, a Dirk Gently novel. This is how Dirk Gently’s apartment greets the day.

The sun later broke in through the upper windows of a house in North London and struck the peacefully sleeping ﬁgure of a man.

The room in which he slept was large and bedraggled and did not much beneﬁt from the sudden intrusion of light. The sun crept slowly across the bedclothes, as if nervous of what it might ﬁnd amongst them, slunk down the side of the bed, moved in a rather startled way across some objects it encountered on the ﬂoor, toyed nervously with a couple of motes of dust, lit brieﬂy on a stuﬀed fruitbat hanging in the corner, and ﬂed.

-The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul, Chapter 3.

The Cocktail – by James Hensley, Spirit-Monkey, via The Patterson House

[Dirk] seems a strange sort so I think something that inspires the weird is called for.

Odin’s Will – an Absinthe Flip with a twist.

3/4 oz La Muse Vert Absinthe

1/2 oz Senior Orange Curacao

3/4 oz Fresh Lemon Juice

1/2 oz (Fat) Demarar Syrup

13 Drops Fee's Old Fashioned Bitters

1 Whole Egg

Place the egg and lemon juice in a shaker and dry/mime shake the two together. Then add the rest of the ingredients and ice. Shake long and hard and then strain into a short Hurricane glass or chilled cocktail glass as you like. Serve this drink "up" with a bit of grated nutmeg over the top.

The Cigar – by Joe Zike, cigar aficionado extraordinaire, via UpTowns Smoke Shop

For someone obsessed with the "interconnectedness of all things," the Oliva V Lancero will not disappoint. The Lancero's thin ring gauge allows the wrapper to balance the ligero filler. The mixture results in a woodsy, Columbian coffee flavor that carries a constant mild spice throughout the smoke. It's a perfect medium-bodied medium for an individual investigating the potential clairvoyance of a phenomenon when there are suspicions of coincidence and conjecture.

Cigar: Oliva Series V Lancero

Wrapper:

Nicaragua

, Habana Sun Grown

Binder: Nicaragua

Filler: Nicaragua, Jalapa Valley Ligero

Length: 7"

Ring Gauge: 38

The Sartorial Sleuth - Bow Ties and Bourbon

2011-04-26T16:08:00.010-05:00

Carrot & Gibbs, Boulder, CO

Bow ties are not for everyone. However, those who choose them stand somehow a little taller, seem somehow a little smarter, have - by the very act of strapping a bow tie around their neck - a more refined sense of style than others - the masses, those hordes of men who are…afraid.

As I strolled into The Patterson House one night last month the young man staffing the host stand said, “Man, that’s a fantastic bow tie. I just don’t think I could get away with wearing one.”

My answer: “The second you decide put on a bow tie is the second you gain the ability to pull it off.” The simple act of walking out into public with a bow tie is proof that you have the balls to do it. No one will ever question it. Some of your friends may laugh, but that’s just jealousy. They wish, deep down, that they had the strength of character to dress like a man. More often than not, you will receive mass un-solicited compliments.

All you have to do is pick a tie, learn to tie it, put it on, and hit the town.

I realize that shopping for a bow tie can be a bit daunting. So, here are some suggestions for where you might go to pick up a snappy bow tie.

Our friends over at Imogene and Willie have a small selection of bow ties made right here in Nashville by the talented Otis James. These ties are, as you might expect, super cool. My pal Dave picked one up a couple weeks ago and loves it. Swing by Imogene and Willie and ask one of them to point you in the right direction. Tell them The Sartorial Sleuth send you.

Another option is to go to Brooks Brothers; they always have a large selection of regimental stripes and classic designs from which to choose.

My personal bow tie of choice is Carrot & Gibbs, made in Boulder, Colorado. Seriously, these pure silk works of art tie perfectly, look great with an odd jacket or suit, and they come in patterns you cannot find at you’re local Brooks Brothers.

If you don’t know how to tie a bow tie, it’s actually quite simple. For a step by step guide click here or here. Also remember, a bow tie should not be perfect and straight. It should look like you tied it yourself. If it’s too perfect, you’ll look like you’re wearing a pre-tied bow tie, which is discernibly un-cool.

The first Wednesday of the month for the next several months, [FIND] Investigations will host an informal gathering of men of style. We meet at The Patterson House. We’ve dubbed the monthly meeting "Bow Ties and Bourbon."

If you have the stones, strap on a bow tie and join us.

A Few Thoughts On Permission

2011-04-25T15:04:00.003-05:00

I am not opposed to being marketed. I have been known to sign up for on-line entrepreneurial offerings. I have taken classes on creativity.

I do, however, abhor the idea of being taken advantage of in email-marketing. If I share my email address with you and invite your marketing, do not, do not, do not take that relationship as a free pass to intrude.

Example: A couple of points to make up front.

1. I am not particularly religious nor do I hold many things to be sacred.

2. I do, however, greatly value my off-time.

I received an email Easter Sunday. I was on the road working, so the idea of interrupting my holiday was not the issue. The email I received had this in the subject line, “I know it's Easter, but when you have something this good...”

Am I wrong in reading an implied promise of something so good that it was worth interrupting my Easter Holiday (my off-time)? The email, it turns out, was just another shameless self-promotion. I am not offended by receiving self-promotional emails. I get that. I am, however, highly offended that they implied that there was something so good that it merited intruding on my off-day (A specific day that is, to many, a holy day…A day that is, to them, sacred).

Do Not, Do Not, DO NOT interrupt your audience with a promise of something so amazing that it merits interrupting a holiday, or any other day for that matter, when it’s just the same message you always send.

Permission marketing is just what it sounds like. I give you permission to market to me. I do not, however, give you permission to interrupt me and make false-promises.

The Easter email drove me to action. I took the 3 minutes time to log in and un-subscribe to the email list. I also took several minutes to write this blog post. Be very careful with the permission you’ve been granted. Over-step your boundaries, and you’ll lose any and all credibility you ever had in one click of the send button.

Due Diligence and the Mortgage Crisis

2011-04-14T09:49:00.004-05:00

due diligence (dü dil ǝ jǝns), n. 1 such constant and earnest effort required as a reasonable person under the same circumstances would use 2a the care that a prudent person might be expected to exercise in the examination and evaluation of risks affecting a business transaction 2b the process of investigation carried on usually by a disinterested third party (as accountants, private investigators, or law firms) on behalf of a party contemplating a business transaction for the purpose of providing information with which to evaluate the advantages and risks involved.

Should due diligence be part of the lending process? Does a loan officer qualify as a disinterested third party? Can we regulate our way out of this crisis? What, in the context of real estate loans, constitutes reasonable and prudent?

Let’s start with the latter. I believe it is reasonable and prudent to verify a person’s income, financial history, and even personal character prior to lending money. A home loan is not a horribly complex thing. In its simplest form a bank loans a person money to purchase a house. The house is taken as collateral. The person has a prescribed term over which to repay the money borrowed, usually in monthly installments. It really is, and should be, that simple.

Which of the following scenarios do you think represents the constant and earnest effort of a reasonable person?

Scenario 1

2006: How We Got Into This Mess in the First Place

Steve goes to Big National Bank and says, “I want to buy a house.” The teller sends Steve to a 23 year old sitting behind a faux wood desk in a cubicle constructed from modesty panels and glass. The 23 year old goes by the name Chas. He has on bass penny-loafers, pleated khaki pants, and a BNB Team golf-shirt in pale-blue.

Chas asks Steve a series of questions, “How much do you want to spend on a home?” How much do you make? Really, well that’s not a problem. We can just say that you make a little more than that. Your salary should increase next year, right? Good. Just sign here.” Steve walks out of BNB with a hew home and an adjustable rate mortgage that is set to increase in three years (eons in today’s market). 0% down + 100% financed = 100% value of the home.

Apparently Chas has committed no crime. He even received a bonus for processing the loan quickly and convincing Steve to go with the friendly ARM. BNB writes the loss off and gladly accepts TARP funds. The CEO borrows the company jet to fly to a golf tournament in Houston for the weekend. Steve has committed mortgage fraud by telling a lie on his loan documents and gets 5 in the pen, out in 3 with good behavior.

Scenario 2

2008: What’s Not Helping

Steve strolls into Big National Bank and says, “I want to buy a house.” Chas, our be-cubicled day-trading wannabe, sends Steve home with a pile of paperwork, the documents required by regulation to ensure that Chas knows Steve.

Steve comes back in a week, paperwork completed. Chas reviews the records and sends them to underwriting. Underwriting calls Chas and asks a few questions. They’ve filed all of the papers required, answered all of the questions on the forms, made sure Steve fits within the “regulated parameters”. They call Steve and tell him he can buy his new home.

Steve realizes a year later that his company no longer considers him to be a linchpin. They let him go with no severance and let him take over the lease on his company car. Steve, thanks to borrowing 110% of the house's value, is in way over his head. Chas gets a bonus for making such a fantastic loan. BNB sells the house in February for a fraction of its value and shows a profit because they “realized” the loss in January. The CEO spends a week in the Turks and Caicos. Steve made an error on one line in the mortgage documents and gets 5 in the pen, out in 3 with good behavior. 0% down 110% loan = Steve owes more than the house is worth.

Scenario 3

1995: The Way It Used to Be

Janet drives over to Local Bank and tells the bank manager, Bob, her dad’s lifelong friend, that she would like to buy her first home. Bob knows that Janet is two years into her career as a nurse. He asks her, “How much money do you have for a down payment?” She tells him that she’s saved up about $20,000 over the past two years, part of which was a gift from mom and dad. (She lived at home and worked like crazy. She has no credit card debt.)

Bob calls Janet’s boss, Virginia, over at regional hospital to verify employment and income. Bob and Virginia graduated City High together in ’59. Virg tells Bob that Janet is a dream employee, verifies her actual income, and tells Bob to bring the family by on Saturday for dinner.

Bob then runs a credit check on Janet, sees that she has no credit history. Bob has coffee every morning with Will, who owns the ladies' shoe store on 14^th. Will tells Bob that he has had a credit account for Janet for the past three years. She has made every payment on time, most of them early.

Bob sits down with Janet and advises her to look at houses in the old neighborhood. They’re a little cheaper, but they’re well built. This way she can use the portion she actually saved for the down payment, maybe use the money her parents gave her to remodel the kitchen. The monthly payment will be much easier for her to handle, even with the 15 year amortization schedule.

Bob was paid his usual bank salary for doing his job. Virginia made a pot-roast for dinner on Saturday. Will spilled coffee all over his Christmas tie on Monday morning. Janet paid the house off in the early months of 2010. She now owns it free and clear. 20% down + 80% loan = 100% value of house.

KYC

Know your customer (KYC) is a form of due diligence for banks and financial institutions and other regulated companies. Based on KYC these institutions must verify the identity of their clients and ascertain relevant information pertinent to doing financial business with them. Really? That has to be regulated? In the USA, KYC is a policy implemented under the bank security act and the USA PATRIOT Act.

KYC should, I would argue, just be a matter of common sense, not necessarily a regulated policy. One might argue that it’s not possible for BNB to know every customer. I think it actually is. You see, back in the day when I started banking with a local branch of one of the BNBs, the branch manager knew the customers.

She called customers by name when we came in to do routine banking. When I, as a young man, had a little problem with available funds, she called me personally, scolded me and helped me get the matter under control. She didn’t know my dad, or share dinners with my boss (that I know of), but she knew me and how to verify who, what, where, when I was.

I dare say she would not advise me, or any of her other customers, to choose an adjustable rate mortgage. She’s no longer with the bank. Neither am I. I removed all of my accounts from the BNB when I realized that I didn’t know a single person in the local branch. When I had an issue with a new policy the bank had regarding availability of funds after deposit, they referred me to the 1-800 customer service number.

I moved to Reliant Bank, a local bank. They only had one branch when I moved my accounts. They now have three. When I walk in the front door of any of these branches, the tellers, the commercial lending officers, and the manager all say something along the lines of, “Hi Thomas.” When I asked them, in 2009 for a refinance, they said, sure.

But they ran me through the paces. They verified all income, all accounts, all assets. They checked every reference, called employers, and expanded their queries to associates and friends. It was not an easy process, but I really didn’t mind. They were covering their bases. Making what I would call a reasonable effort to determine their exposure and risk in agreeing to lend money to me.

Here’s a thought. Private Investigators, Certified Fraud Examiners could be used in this process, up front, as a part of due diligence. Hire a professional to learn as much as possible about your customers. You’ll have no problem meeting the KYC requirements, and if your customers don’t want the scrutiny, well…maybe they aren’t quiet ready to buy that house. Yea?

PI gone bad - The insane story of Chris Butler

2011-04-11T11:11:00.001-05:00

I just finished this story and feel compelled to share it. I can't even begin to paraphrase what happened. Just click here and read for yourself: Chris Butler Story

[FIND] Vice - Taylor Jackson

2011-04-08T13:58:00.005-05:00

Taylor Jackson, Lt. Metro Nashville Police Department, Homicide.

What can we say about Taylor Jackson? She’s tall, blond, gorgeous, smart, well-bred, but rebellious. She’s tough, strong, pretty, leggy, manly, yet feminine. She kills it in a dress and will kick your ass for noticing. Lieutenant Taylor Jackson, the leading lady in a series of detective novels written by Nashville author J.T. Ellison, is unique.

I met Taylor at Patterson House, local gin-joint, dark, tin-ceiling, and bookshelves for walls. We sat at the end of the bar, either side of the corner, facing each other. I ordered my usual, and asked her what’s her poison. She said, “I like beer, maybe a wine. Don’t drink much heavy liquor.”

Thank god James, the friendly barkeep and mix-master picked up on that vestigial Belle Meade drawl. “Young lady,” he said, “trust me on this, you need a cocktail.” He tore a handful of mint, slammed it in a sterling tumbler and twisted the classic julep into a new and delightful taste of old-Nashville.

The Cocktail

by James Hensley, Patterson House

Taylor’s Old-School

2 oz Jack Daniels Tennessee Whiskey (the Nashville connection)

1/4 oz Rothman & Winter Apricot Liqueur

1/4 oz Demarara Syrup

13 Drops of Peychaud's Bitters

3 Sprigs of Mint

Place the mint in the bottom of a metal julep cup and bruise it. Then, using your muddler, pull the mint up the inside wall of the cup to coat the inside with mint oil. Press the mint back down in the tin and then add the whiskey and stop. Give the spirit a moment to extract still more mint essence from the mint. After ten seconds or so add the rest of the ingredients and fill the cup about 3/4 of the way full with crushed ice. Swizzle the drink until a frosty coat of ice is built on the exterior of the cup. Cap the drink with a heaping dome of crushed ice and garnish with a bouquet of mint and a straw.

- - -

After enjoying a few too many, we slip out the back door, down the wooden steps to the secret patio behind The Patterson House. We pick a table—there’s nobody else—and settle into seats for a pause. Taylor reaches into her purse and pulls out a cigar. “Guilty pleasure,” she says, clips the end, lights it, and delivers it across the table. Thoughtful lady, that Taylor…

The Cigar

by Joe Zike, UpTowns

CAO – Sopranos Edition

Wrapper: Brazil

Binder: Honduras

Filler: Nicaragua, Dominican Republic, Columbia

A local woman, she knows Nashville's players and fakers. She'd support the homegrown CAO cigar company, and her smoke of choice from the 14 blends they make would be the "Sopranos" edition. This blend has rich cocoa and coffee notes. Her size, fittingly, would be the "Boss" which is 7 inches long with a 56 ring gauge. It's the right cigar for her to blow smoke rings around the shrewdest criminal mind. -JZ

Sartorial Sleuth

2011-03-28T13:40:00.006-05:00

I'm not a style maven, but I do like to dress like a grown-up. I try to, at the very least, put on a sports coat and even...sometimes...wear a tie for evenings out. I like men's style and have been known to surf style blogs like putthison.com and the sartorialist.

I do not mind paying good money for a pair of shoes or boots that look classic and will last for years. Likewise, an extraordinary tie or scarf, or even a colorful pocket-square. I have been known to spend too much money for a suit or the odd-jacket. I have never, however, considered paying more that $50 for a pair of jeans, until now.

I just acquired my first pair of Imogene and Willie's jeans, and they are (I am compelled to admit) fantastic. Seriously fantastic: conceived or appearing as if conceived by an unrestrained imagination; extravagantly fanciful; marvelous. Yes, these indigo denim pants are on a whole new plane of coolness.

I do not usually go in for the whole hipster thing, leaning more towards classic style, but I think these dark blue hipster pants might just go perfectly with a nice Zegna blazer and a pair of Peal and Co cap-toe derbys in mid-tan.

If you find the time, drop by and visit my friends over at Imogene and Willie, tell them the Sartorial Sleuth sent you.

Watch your email in-box for the April edition of the Monthly Ledger, due out the first part of next week.

Auditing the auditor

2011-03-24T10:39:00.001-05:00

We get asked all the time about what information we can find about a person. Well...we can find a lot.

More than most people are comfortable with, but less than most people think. The cool thing is, for those of you out in the regular world, we get audited.

All of our information sources are under strict regulations to make sure that we do not misuse the information to which we have access. To this end, we have to submit to random audits. Just filled out one this morning. Anyway, it's nice to know that someone is watching.

Sleuthing Social Sites, Part 2 - Marketing

2011-03-19T12:59:00.000-05:00

The Myth of the Luddite PI

We decided early in this firm's development to embrace the mythology of the Private Eye--Ferrari, fedora, and all. In that spirit, we craft a monthly post called [FIND] Vice. It's a celebration of our favorite fictional PIs, complete with a cocktail and cigar pairing, chosen with care by our favorite real-life mixologists and stogie men.

One aspect of the PI myth that we do not embrace, however, is that of the technophobe gumshoe.

To our minds, the [FIND] Vice feature merges past and present, to our benefit. By using a modern platform to pay homage to the vintage PI (and all the romance therein), we massage the myth, while living fully in the present. Basically, it's a way to connect, a sophisticated interaction with current and prospective customers, and it costs us nothing but a little time and creativity.

We're looking for a level of professionalism in our online presence-- a blend of casual, transparent and intelligent e-communications that both engage our audience and project (we hope) a certain familiarity with the wired world. A necessary attribute for the modern investigator, in our view.

Content Matters
Admittedly, mastering the art of social media marketing is more difficult than it sounds. It's not enough to just join the usual-suspect social-media granfalloons--e.g. Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn. It's about knowing how to use those sites to start a conversation, and keeping that conversation going using a combination of social media platforms, blogs, newsletters, QR codes, and (of course) a well-designed website that aggregates your company's online information portals.

Take a quick glance at the Twitter universe, and you'll see what we mean: millions of e-voices, few of them saying anything worthwhile or interesting. They're not conversing; they're advertising. "Visit my site!" "Buy my book!" It's hard to find any real content amidst the chaos of voices.

We struggle daily with the question of content, wondering if the information we're sending into the world is worthy of the ones and zeroes we're using up in its production. Transparency means looking inward as well as outward--it's easy to point to problems with someone else's website, blog, or marketing approach. But the very act of pushing ideas into the electronic ether changes the ideas themselves--because we get unexpected responses, the kind that demand that we re-think how we do things.

Are our blog posts too long? Maybe. We delve deep into subjects, reference economists, thinkers, literature. We believe our clients are smart, and they deserve as thorough a treatment of the subjects we cover as we ourselves seek in newspapers, magazines, and online journals.

Are we using Twitter, Facebook, and our monthly newsletter to best effect? It's a question we ask ourselves every day. Using posts and newsletter bursts, we've been successful in driving traffic to our blog so far. We sometimes tweet field updates when we're pulling surveillance. All these strategies seem to keep our clients interested and engaged, and our names bobbing at or near the surface of their attention.

But we have plenty to learn.

One thing we do know: it's useless to try to draw a straight line between social media and money. None of this makes a penny, at least not in a directly measurable way. We've excised "monetize" from our vocabulary, at least when it comes to our online presence. We charge for our work; the engagement is free.

Tell Your Story
It's a long-term way of thinking, and sometimes the waiting is frustrating. But it's become clear to us that building a sophisticated media presence using journalistic outlets, social media platforms, blogs, and a well-designed website does eventually drive engagement and interaction. All of these media are ways for us to tell customers our story, to let them know who we are and what we value.

In today's marketplace, it's not enough to be merely competent. Your clients aren't just purchasing information as a commodity; they're investing in you.

Tell them your story. Be calculating, but authentic. And most of all, be patient.

Altruistic Reciprocity

2011-03-18T15:30:00.001-05:00

Reciprocal Altruism: a behavior whereby an organism acts in a manner that temporarily reduces its fitness while increasing another organism's fitness, with the expectation that the other organism will act in a similar manner at a later time.

We call it Karma Economics. I've had several discussions lately, with other people, on-line, and in my head. All of these discussions revolve around the idea of creating content for free. The question always comes up, "what's in it for me?" Well, aside from what I see as the obvious benefits - owning the conversation, social capital, being the guy who gets quoted in the media, etc. - I think this idea of altruistic reciprocity has some serious merit. Gift economics doesn't rely on a direct quid-pro-quo, there's no score.

The way I see it, writing a blog post and making it available for publication in other outlets costs me a little bit of time, not much else. If I've done a good job of addressing an issue that is of interest to others, then they receive a benefit. The outlet that publishes my blog post as an article receives the benefit of new content. The only real benefit I get is to be the author of the story and for that I gain a little bit of social capital.

But a better example would be bragging on the competition. The actual cost is similar: just a little bit of time. The potential cost could be substantial. If one brags on the competition, the competition gets the press and a resulting bump in their brand awareness. The person bragging might even lose clients to the person they bragged about. The potential cost of this behavior is high.

Furthermore, there's no direct way to measure ROI for Karma Economics. However, I have seen direct returns on investment through the very simple act of bragging on my fellow professional investigators. We produced a story for Marketplace, the public radio business news magazine, a couple of years ago. In that story, we highlighted a fellow PI. She actually got calls afterwards from prospective clients. The thing she did that was unexpected was refer business to me.

See, while we are both PIs, we focus on different types of investigations. My touting her expertise really didn't hurt my business at all. I gladly brag on my fellow professional investigators, the ones who do exceptional work. Even the ones who are trying to do the exact same type of work that I do, assuming they are amazing. Is there a chance I could lose clients to them? Maybe.

In the long run, though, I think it's a win-win. Either way, I enjoy the writing and like to see other people succeed. If I put a little bit of energy into helping that happen, well...it'll come back someday. I'm not too concerned about it. Karma doesn't seem to worry about the point system.

Resume Fraud

2011-03-10T11:07:00.001-06:00

Here's a fantastic resource for Certified Fraud Examiners. We've been using the Student Clearinghouse for years. It's a fee per search or a subscription service that verifies academic achievement. Say you get a resume that claims the person earned a bachelor of science degree in economics from the University of Mississippi. The resume is clean and well written and doesn't beg further inspection. A quick query to the Student Clearinghouse can verify if the person in question actually finished their degree or just attended the university but never matriculated. I am continually surprised at the number of people who flat out lie about their education. It's so very easy to verify. Oh well...if you find yourself in need of verifying educational qualifications, check out the Student Clearinghouse.

[FIND] Investigations - Photos and Freebies

2011-03-07T10:35:00.001-06:00

This past weekend, I submitted to an afternoon of fun and photos. Mark Tucker, one of the best known and most widely respected photographers in Nashville, asked to spend an afternoon photographing a private investigator while working. While an actual ride-along would have risked exposing confidential information, a staged surveillance wound up being a fantastic way to let Mark make pictures and allow the two of us to chat about the work.

I think, and I hope I'm not talking out of school, Mark has been trying, like most of us, to get his head around the idea of creating content for free, giving things away. We did not discuss this while on our photo shoot, but it was on my mind. Mark is an exceedingly talented photographer. He's used to being hired for a job and making amazing photos for commercial use. He is one of the few people left who still knows how to make a perfect image on film, not relying on post production photo-shop to fix problems.

I can say that he made me, a not so easy to photograph person, feel special for an afternoon. There's something about having a photographer create images of you. The photographer, by the very boundaries of the process, must focus on you and you alone. It's an incredibly intimate process, ripe for discomfort. In mark's hands the camera does not seem like a tool or a weapon, rather it seems to...well...just not be there.

Mark is working on a new project, a sort of narrative/photo essay for his blog. It's a product that, to paraphrase Mark, stands the chance of being unconsciously devalued simply because it's on the internet. I see the point he's making, it's not lost on me. I too struggle with trying to figure out how to (forgive me) monetize all production.

But as a leader, a connector in his market (all markets are conversations), Mark is poised to be the one people talk about. Hugh MacLeod says that we should own the conversation. "Conversation ownership isn't rocket science. ...the higher up the food chain/social hierarchy you go, the more likely they're talking about you and not about somebody else."

The takeaway: Simple, Mark Tucker spent an afternoon photographing me. We shared an intimate little chunk of time. Mark made me feel special. I offered Mark a glimpse into my little world. It was a social exchange, both giving and both receiving. The real value, though, is that I will brag on Mark and his work and Mark has provided me with exposure on his blog. We continue the conversation ad-infinitum. Basically, by starting his project, My Day With, mark is taking title to the conversation.

I hope you will take a few minutes to drop over to Mark Tucker's blog and check out his work.

The Detrimental Impact of Too Many Rules

2011-03-03T14:56:00.002-06:00

I understand that rules are necessary. A company has to have guidelines, processes, a way-we-do-things. I appreciate that these rules are styled to keep the company out of dutch, keep its people in line. But, there's something wrong, terribly wrong, with the way some organizations simply cannot think of enough things to tell their people not to do.

I'm about half way through with Seth Godin's new book Poke The Box. There's a chapter titled, "Allowed (not allowed)." Here at [FIND] Investigations we actually have an allowed list. The things our investigators can do is a lengthy enumeration, and there is no foreseeable end. Full disclosure: we do have a company ethics and style guide, but it is for inspiration, not to shackle.

If we adhered to a list of things that aren't allowed, we'd be just like every other investigative agency. We'd produce reports that look like every other investigative agency's reports.

Excessive regulation is a knee-jerk response to fear and lack of trust. It's an anti-creative measure that stifles real thinking and analysis in favor of simply following procedure. And, I would argue, this is a huge step towards mediocrity.

I have a long history in a very specific type of consulting business. There, regulations have taken on a life of their own. The Uniform Standards of Professional Practice for this industry is barely contained in a document that is so tediously long that there is an additional tediously long addendum of advisory opinions to explain what the standards actually mean. Oh yeah...then there's the equally tedious, long FAQ to help one understand the advisory opinions that explain the.... This document is re-written often.

There are so many specific regulations that all reports are starting to look exactly alike. Regulated sameness in that industry is now more important than a credible work product. If a report meets all of the technical requirements, it is a quality report, according to regulators. Seth Godin says, "If you have quality and they have quality and that's all either of you offers, then you're selling a commodity, and I'll take cheap, please."

Luckily, this does not yet apply to the investigative world. Our clients hire us because they value our opinion.

At [FIND] Investigations, we like to focus on innovation and initiative. We ask our analysts to weigh and consider the information they discover. We study our subjects and all information we gather about them. Once we've considered and studied, we then craft a report that tells a story, much like a journalist would. We incorporate facts and timelines and then craft a narrative. We trust our analysts to approach each assignment with initiative and curiosity. We expect them to be creative. We encourage it, by setting them free.

Sleuthing Social Sites

2011-03-01T17:47:00.003-06:00

In September, The Economist ran an article titled "Untangling the Social Web." Pursuit Magazine recently published the first of a four-part series last month called "The Power of Social Media." PI Magazine regularly addresses this topic. Everyone--investigators, creative professionals, and entrepreneurs of all kinds--aims to harness this so-called power, but few of us know quite how.

Clearly, social media is a two-edged sword, one we professional investigators can, and must, learn to wield in both directions.

An Investigative Tool

I still find it amazing that some detectives-for-hire view technology with suspicion. A recent article in our local newspaper featured a retired DEA agent-cum-PI proudly asserting, "They call it the ol' gumshoe...no amount of technology is a substitute for knocking on doors and putting in the legwork."

Really? What about when someone doesn't want to willingly cough up the information you need? The "ol' gumshoe" isn't just about putting mileage on your feet. It's a metaphor for problem solving, which means availing yourself of the very best tools--from your mind, eyes, and ears, to electronic substitutes thereof.

Case Study - Choir Boy or Criminal?

Last year we were hired to compile a profile of a man involved in a high-stakes lawsuit. "He's a choir boy,"his family told investigators. "Always doin' good. Ain't never use drugs."

Problem: strolling the subject's neighborhood and knocking on doors was a pretty unlikely way to find out any real information about him. We would've been spotted immediately as outsiders in the community and viewed with extreme suspicion. But in the virtual neighborhood of social media, it's pretty easy to assume a believable disguise and join in the conversation.

As the subject's new online acquaintance, a whole world opened to us. Photos and comments about the subject painted a completely different picture of his personality and habits. The mythological choir boy image didn't stand up well against a photograph of the youth proudly puffing a blunt whilst flashing a gangster pose. Using connections linked to his page, we also identified a vast list of potential witnesses, uncovered other questionable activities, and unearthed at least three other social media sites portraying the young fellow's extralegal antics.

Case Study - Globetrotting Tweeter

A client hired us to locate a person who'd left the scene of a car accident. The young woman proved elusive and failed to return numerous phone calls from an attorney. The sheriff's office had given up after trying three times to serve subpoenas to her last known address.

We surmised that the demographic in question (women, mid-twenties) can scarcely evacuate their bowels these days without documenting said activities on Facebook and Twitter. It didn't take much techno-gumshoe poking around to discover her Facebook page and Twitter feed. Conveniently, the young lady enjoyed tweeting incessantly on the subject of her location and future travel plans. Cozumel, Isla Mujeres, L.A. (including her actual street address! She checked in on FourSquare.) I forwarded her Twitter handle to the client, and he had her served in California two days later...on the first try.

Observations

A typical skip trace might run a search via IRB and Tracers Info. The address would've turned up nothing except for the house her father maintained while serving five for insurance fraud. The sheriff's office didn't find her there, and neither would a social-media-phobic investigator. Our tweeting sweetheart hadn't been there in years.

Case Study - FCPA Due Diligence

One case promised to take us to exotic, sunny locales to perform clandestine shenanigans for fun and profit. Unfortunately, we were able to pull together enough information using databases, law enforcement sources, and a healthy dose of Facebook revelations to convince our client not to do business with this subject. If it weren't for social media, we'd have a lot more stamps in our passports right now, and our client would be out several grand in travel expenses.

Conclusions

I could go on and on, but you get the point. I understand that canvassing and in-person interviews are valuable tools. But to exclude new and innovative methods of analysis isn't just short sighted, it borders on crazy. New technology isn't an excuse to avoid old-school detective work. It's an opportunity to use the ol' gumshoe skills virtually, in a global neighborhood. It allows an investigator's eyes and ears to blanket the world.

Coming Soon, check out Part Two: Marketing in a Social Media Age

[FIND] Vice - Travis McGee

2011-02-28T15:30:00.000-06:00

Our P.I. hero this month isn't even a real P.I. But go ahead; try and turn him away. Standing 6'4" with a 205 lb frame, 33" waist, and size 46L sport coat, he sees no need to suffer fools or take "no" for an answer.

Travis McGee, "salvage consultant," is one of the best-loved characters in the detective genre. Sure, he's not actually a licensed shamus, but no matter. He is The Man.

McGee's creator John D. MacDonald crafted color-coded time capsules of a bygone era--a swampy, 1960s Florida landscape that's been drained and paved by the kind of venal lowlifes McGee loves to punish. McGee's paternal, almost condescending eye for the fairer sex reflects a "Mad Men" ethos that borders on predatory but reflects the Man's Man attitudes of the day. Although McGee, in his words, "cut a wide swath through a wall of female flesh," don't judge him by our more "enlightened" present. MacDonald was writing about his own era and, thus, carries the authenticity of Spillane's 1950s, with its attendant paranoia, racism, and homophobia, swept neatly under a carpet of illusory innocence.

Detective novelist George Pelecanos calls Travis McGee "the embodiment of early 60s male wish-fulfillment." And when you think about it, what man wouldn't want his build, and his life: no real job, no cubicle, no nine-to-five. He's capable with his fists but no bully. He's tall and handsome, but a thinking man's action hero, despite his physicality. McGee's best pal Meyer, summed it up: "Add all those ingredients together and stir well, and you can come up with a lasting case of psychological impotence."

"The only suitable attitude towards oneself and the world is the awareness of pathetic, slapstick comedy." -Travis McGee, from Free Fall in Crimson

The Cocktail
courtesy of our own Patterson House mixologist, James Hensley, who writes The Spirit Monkey blog.

The Busted Flush, a manly swizzle

2 oz. Flor de Cana 7-year rum
1/2 oz. Luxardo Maraschino Liqueur
1/2 oz. Orange Reduction
1/4 oz. Demerara Syrup
3 large lime cut into 1/8ths

Muddle the lime eighth in the bottom of a Collins glass. Fill glass 3/4 full with crushed ice, then add all the liquid ingredients. Swizzle until a fine layer of frost forms on the exterior of the glass, making sure to keep the lime rinds at the bottom of the glass. Fill rest of glass to heaping with more crushed ice, and garnish with a standing lime wheel on the rim of the glass. Stir well...and forget the consequences.

The Cigar

Joe Zike, UPtowns cigar expert and wordsmith extraordinaire, pairs McGee with a Montecristo No. 2.

Joe: "The protagonist of arguably the best detective series ever written will smoke one of the best Cuban cigars in production, the Montecristo No. 2. This cigar offers the tan, ruminating Floridian the perfect opportunity to extemporize his philosophies. Just over six inches long with a 52 ring gauge, the cigar offers an hour-long indulgence in cocoa and leather flavors. While it could serve as a welcome hiatus, for McGee it has more of a fourth wall effect, as he places the absurdities and violent images of his work in and out of context, resulting in a pithy perspective."

Helping Domestic Abusers Incriminate Themselves

2011-02-27T14:52:00.000-06:00

A year ago, New York City jails started recording inmates' telephone calls (except those protected by privilege--i.e. to doctors and lawyers). The results have been a windfall for prosecutors, who requested more than eight thousand copies of those recordings last year.

The tapes have proved most useful in domestic violence cases. It seems that abusers routinely provide evidence against themselves in phone conversations with victims, continuing to threaten, manipulate, and verbally abuse them from jail and often describing their crimes in detail. The threats likely play a large role in convincing victims to stop assisting police and prosecutors. Three-quarters of women who report domestic abuse later refuse to cooperate with law enforcement, often after talking to their abusers.

One domestic violence specialist in the Queens D.A.'s office says that the recorded phone calls have "revolutionized" how they handle these cases. The taped conversations paint a picture of intimidation, coercion, and manipulation for jurors, and the calls often violate court orders barring communication between accused and accuser.

"When you're talking about domestic violence cases," says a former California prosecutor, "...monitoring every jail cell is probably the single most important investigative procedure put in place in the last decade anywhere in the country."

Queens prosecutors have long been early-adopters of new methods for pursuing domestic violence cases, such as the use of digital photography as evidence of abuse more than 10 years ago.

Click here to read the full New York Times article, "Abuse Suspects, Your Calls Are Taped. Speak Up."

March Ledger is in production

2011-02-22T14:45:00.002-06:00

March is fast approaching. As that extensive, snow-perbole winter slips into the rear view mirror, dust off the straw and put the Borsalino back in its box.

The March issue of The Monthly Ledger is in production as I type. This month we explore the Miami haunts of Travis McGee in our monthly column, [FIND] Vice. Get ready for a fine cigar and another tasty cocktail from our operatives at UpTowns and The Patterson House.

Brace for the oncoming spate of sunny days and check your email in-box the first part of next week for more news from [FIND] Investigations.

THH

Quick Response Codes and how you can use them...

2011-02-21T13:25:00.004-06:00

Here at [FIND] Investigations, we try to keep up with new technology. That’s why we are so proud to bring you this ten-year-old technology from Japan. QR Codes, or 2D bar codes, are turning up in magazines, on billboards, emblazoned across T-shirts, and embedded in airline tickets. I found one in a Tag Hauer advertisement on the back of Fast Company magazine this weekend. Simply put, a QR Code is a version of a bar code that allows you to put complex information into a graphical format.

Want to hand over your contact card with a quick scan? Generate a QR Contact code.

Want to deliver readers to your website? You could, as we all do, put your web address on your business card and hope they remember to key in the url when they get back to the office. Or, you could place a QR code on your business card and have them scan it with their smart phone. Hey presto, they’re taken directly to your homepage or blog.

You can build a code that, when scanned by an iPhone or Droid, delivers a prospective client to your Facebook page, twitter feed, RSS feed, etc. etc. You can even have the code offer them the chance to “Like” or follow your brand. I just created one code that, once scanned into the iPhone, automatically likes our company’s Facebook page.

Here are a few simple ideas for ways to employ QR Codes in your marketing plan:

Ø Business Cards – Put a QR Code on your card that contains your contact information. When someone scans your card into their smart phone, a new contact is automatically added to their phone.

Ø Marketing Materials – Place a QR Code somewhere on your brochure or one pager. Have that code instantly deliver the reader to a specific section of your website or blog that relates to the service.

Ø Giveaway Items – Say you’re at a trade show. You have a booth set up. Why not have a QR Code on those key chains, pens, and T-shirts?

Ø Scavenger Hunts – [FIND] Investigations is working on setting up a scavenger hunt in conjunction with our client appreciation dinner this next fall. We’re considering using QR Codes for clues.

I guess the point of this is quite simple: make it easy for people to connect with you and your business. Make your brand--that idea or image you’re trying to build--easy to find. Create opportunities for people to hear your story, that narrative that you’ve created.

Here are a few sources for QR Code generators.

www.beetagg.com

www.likify.net

http://qrcode.kaywa.com/

If you have an iPhone or a Droid, download a QR reader. Search the App store for QR Code Readers or 2D Code readers. Scan the code at the top of this post, share it on Facebook. Put these little codes to work for you today.

Does mood affect the "Aha" moment?

2011-02-19T15:03:00.000-06:00

Next time you're struggling with a blank spot in a crossword puzzle, have somebody tell you a joke.

Scientists at Northwestern University found that their study subjects were more likely to solve word puzzles quickly, in sudden flashes of insight, immediately after watching a funny video.

Sometimes problem-solving calls for analysis, intellect, a systematic trial-and-error approach. But all good detective fiction also highlights the intuitive moment, the leap of logic that originates deep inside the unconscious mind.

Neuroscientists often use puzzles to try and understand those light-bulb moments. A few of these now-famous studies are highlighted in this New York Times article, Tracing the Spark of Creative Problem-Solving.

In the Northwestern study, researchers observed brain images as subjects watched a timed puzzle unfold, and found that people tended to intuit the solutions faster if their moods were positive. Scientists believe that a joke or amusing video may cause the mind to "widen its attention, in effect making it more open to distraction," which may just ready your brain for the "aha" moment.

You can test your own insight here with this quick, interactive video puzzle at the NYTimes website.

NPR Series on Death Investigation in America

2011-02-19T14:08:00.000-06:00

We imagine an American criminal investigations system that looks a lot like CSI: with 21st century science, driven professionals, and limitless resources at our disposal, no bad deed should ever go unnoticed, or unpunished.

The reality of forensic science in America is startlingly different. A collaboration between NPR, ProPublica, and PBS Frontline uncovers the alarming state of America's coroner and medical examiner offices.

The investigative series Post Mortem: Death Investigation in America exposes a deeply-flawed system that allows coroners without medical degrees to diagnose causes of death, sends innocent people to prison, and allows many crimes to go unpunished, due to mistaken cause-of-death findings. Budget shortfalls and a shortage of "death detectives" leave many coroner offices overwhelmed with cases and incompetent coroners continuing to sign death certificates despite a history of mistakes.

[FIND] Diligence

2011-02-01T11:11:00.000-06:00

What’s under the surface is not always bad, not always a deal killer; but if it is, you need to know.

Human capital: the stock of competences, knowledge, and personality attributes embodied in the ability to perform labor so as to produce economic value. It is the attributes gained by a worker through education and experience. Sullivan, Arthur; Steven M. Sheffrin (2003). Economics: Principles in action.

As a venture capitalist, you seek great ideas, business plans, widgets the world needs. But when it comes to putting your money behind a concept, our thinking is this: You’re not investing in a company as much as you’re endowing human capital.

In a recent survey of private equity investors, nearly 70% of the respondents indicated that they believed “…poor company performance is either very often or always attributable to management issues.” But while the investors said, by and large, that they were moving away from, “…a more instinctive approach when it comes to picking talent,” they are still using outdated and loosely defined methods of assessing human capital.

What we do – the broad view.

[FIND] Investigations performs background investigations to help limit your financial and reputational risk.

What we do – the more specific view.

[FIND] Investigations can locate, identify, and/or find the following:

· Non-disclosed businesses/relationships

· Controversial media attention

· Lawsuit history

· Regulatory issues

· Conflicts of interest (IP theft, fraud, etc.)

· Resume Fraud

· Indications of financial stress

· Criminal history

· Personal history

What makes us different?

[FIND] Investigations produces well written, comprehensively researched, and thoroughly-documented reports. Our final report is a distilled analysis of potential areas of concern, not just a list or summary. We recommend deeper research where necessary. We look into problem areas in detail and help you determine what action might be appropriate: is this a deal-killer, an issue to "spin," or just a minor obstacle?

We approach our work as working professionals with backgrounds in business and research. We are writers, journalists, appraisers, analysts…we do this work for a living, not as a post-retirement-hobby. You can expect a lack of jargon in our reports. The passive voice is avoided whenever possible.

What you can expect – Clients' Bill of Rights.

[FIND] Investigations believes that you have the right to, and should demand, the following:

· You have the right to an investigator who is as intelligent as you are.

· You have the right to receive professional service.

· You and your employees have the right to be treated with respect at all times.

· You have the right to a well written, well reasoned, and grammatically correct report.

· You have the right to a good-faith estimate of total project costs, up front.

· You have the right to expect phone calls and emails to be returned within at least 24 hours.

· You have the right to expect ethical conduct and complete confidentiality.

· You have the right to a detailed invoice, clearly showing all charges.

[FIND] Vice - Jake Gittes

2011-02-01T10:47:00.000-06:00

"What I do for a living may not be very reputable. But I am. In this town I'm the leper with the most fingers." Jake Gittes, "The Two Jakes"

Loach: What happened to your nose, Gittes? Somebody slammed a bedroom window on it?

Jake Gittes: Nope. Your wife got excited. She crossed her legs a little too quick. You understand what I mean, pal?

Equal parts mystery and psycho-thriller, the 1974 movie Chinatown revived the film noir genre and gave the world one of [FIND]'s favorite fictional private eyes, Los Angeles gumshoe J.J. "Jake" Gittes, played by Jack Nicholson.

Screenwriting professors everywhere get all misty about Robert Towne's superbly-crafted screenplay, a dark tale of murder, corruption, and water rights set in 1930s Southern California. Towne's stark, whittled-down dialogue breathes life into Gittes, a cynical, every-man-for-himself divorce-shamus resplendent in a back-belted white linen suit and straw hat.

Gittes isn't afraid to compromise to the very edge of legality and sleaze, but the evil he encounters surrounding his mysterious client, Mrs. Mulray (Faye Dunaway), pushes the limits of even Gittes's flexible morality. Embittered by some murky past as a cop in L.A.'s Chinatown, in which his job was to "do as little as possible," he's learned that nothing is ever as it seems.

Gittes's momentary resurgence as a man who protects the weak and fights for what's right comes to naught, in a dark, climactic scene re-tooled by director Roman Polanski from the original screenplay. Gittes, again, steeps in disgust at the futility of salvation in a venal world. As the two watch the tragedy unfold, Gittes's partner, Lawrence Walsh, tells him, "Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown."

The Cocktail
James Hensley manages The Patterson House, a favorite watering hole of ours, and just the kind of dramatically-lit speakeasy Gittes would have loved, if only he could pay the bar tab. Hensley cooked up the ideal mouth-shattering cocktail in honor of that rough-cut L.A. gumshoe:

The Chinatown

1.5 oz. Lunazul Reposado Tequila

1/2 oz. Chichicappa Mezcal

3/4 oz. Fresh lime juice

3/4 oz. Ginger syrup

1/2 oz. Aperol

Place all ingredients in a shaker with ice and shake. Strain over ice in a rocks glass and garnish with ginger candy.

The Cigar

PI Gittes seems to need to unwind, relax, let his thinning hair down, whatever one may call it, with a cigar after an investigation that left him with a mutilated nostril. He doesn't need anything too strong, but something smooth and capable of creating a contemplative distance from the day's events.

The Zino Classic No. 1 would do just fine. It is mild to medium, depending on one's palate. The Ecuadorian wrapper complements the cigar's Dominican and Honduran tobacco to reveal a very slightly bitter, buttery, woodsy flavor.

Wrapper: Ecuador

Binder: Honduras

Filler: Dominican Republic, Honduras

(Wordsmithing and cigar suggestion courtesy of Joe Zike at UPtown's Smoke Shop)

On Plain English

2011-01-23T17:41:00.004-06:00

Muddled, unintelligible writing abounds in academia, business, and government. Champions of plain English say clear, well-crafted language can change the world. Here's how.

"The fight against bad English is not frivolous," George Orwell wrote in his 1946 essay Politics and the English Language. "...If thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought."

The framers of our Constitution created a government with 4,500 well-chosen words; so why does the Senate health care bill require 200,000 words and more than 2,000 pages of inscrutable babble? This torrent of words not only reflects muddled thought; it produces muddled thinking and muddled debate.

For a succinct explanation of why this matters, watch Alan Siegel's four-minute TED talk on how simplifying legalese would make the world a better place. How many hours have you squandered trying to puzzle out incomprehensibly long tax forms, credit agreements, and legal contracts? And if governments and corporations made paperwork brief, simple, and easy-to-understand, how much harder would it be for them to impose "stealth provisions" (like adjustable interest rates, hidden fees, or confusing tax codes) on citizens and customers?

“If you can’t explain what you’re doing in plain English, you’re probably doing something wrong,” economist Alfred Kahn wrote in a famous memo that urged fellow civil servants to compose their letters and reports clearly and succinctly. The passive grammatical construct particularly irked him:

"The passive voice is wildly overused in government writing. Typically its purpose is to conceal information — one is less likely to be jailed if one says, ‘He was hit by a stone,’ than if he says, ‘I hit him with a stone...The active voice is far more forthright, direct, humane."

Think “Mistakes were made.“ William Schneider coined the term “past exonerative tense” to describe this linguistic construct, and William Safire called it a “passive-evasive way of acknowledging error while distancing the speaker from responsibility for it.”

It's not only the passive voice that makes officialspeak feel so dehumanizing. It's the unnecessarily complex language and overuse of incomprehensible jargon, which conceals ideas instead of clarifying them. Echoing Kahn, Siegel says that simplifying legal writing reconnects institutions with the people they serve.

"I define simplicity as a means to achieving clarity, transparency, and empathy, building humanity into communications."

As private investigators, we deal in information. That's why we should be practicing the lost art of clarity in our own work, by writing reports in the kind of simple prose advocated by Siegel, Kahn, and Orwell. Instead of using the absurd officialese so often seen in police reports (and described to comic effect in this newspaper article), why not write our reports the way we tell stories, using simple subject-action verb constructs and ordinary, familiar vocabulary? Precise language doesn't leave much room for misinterpretation, it ensures that clients understand exactly who did what, and when, and it makes you look like a smart, savvy character fully responsible for his actions (i.e. "I did this" instead of "This was done...").

We here at [FIND] Investigations believe that the private investigator should wield his pen with the precision of a scalpel, in the service of reason, intellect, and humanity.

In his essay, "Politics and the English Language," Orwell offers a few remedies for the kind of bad writing that infects government, business, and academia. Here’s an excerpt:

1. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.

2. Never use a long word where a short one will do.

3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.

4. Never use the passive where you can use the active.

5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.

6. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

For more examples of pompous and execrable writing, see this WSJ article and the Bad Writing Contest website. -KDG

"When the subject is strong, simplicity is the only way to treat it." -Thomas Jefferson

2010 Year In Review

2010-12-30T10:30:00.003-06:00

Lead Investigator Thomas H. Humphreys takes a minute to reflect.

Seth Godin's blog suggested that we take just a minute to brag, share with you, our friends and colleagues, what we've accomplished over the past year. It's both embarrassing and inspiring to put these things in a list. I am proud of the work our team did last year. Thank you David W. Green, PI and Kimberly D. Green, PI. The support and hard work you provide is priceless.

In 2010 we...
1. Completed over 50 hours of continuing education (State of TN requires 12 hours).
2. Published 48 blog posts.
3. Closed 45 cases.
4. Released 10 Newsletters.
5. Published 5 articles for magazines.
6. Took 3 educational field trips: FBI Academy, International Spy Museum, and New Orleans Retreat.
7. Celebrated two year anniversary for [FIND] Investigations.
8. Sent one crook to jail.
9. Completed one Certified Fraud Examiners Designation.
10. Located, cataloged, and analyzed in excess of $65,000,000 in assets.
11. Served process/located several hard-to-find people.
12. Had one fantastic year.

[FIND] Vice - Lisbeth Salander

2010-12-29T14:02:00.001-06:00

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, who Played with Fire and Kicked the Hornet's Nest

from the novels by Stieg Larsson

The four-foot-eleven, twenty-something, heavily inked and pierced, ass-kicking Lisbeth Salander has a serious axe to grind.

The backstory: victimized as a child by a sociopathic father and a sadistic psychiatrist, Salander has learned to trust no one and to take justice into her own hands.

In adulthood, Salander becomes a covert researcher. She is known in the hacker underground as a computer wizard with a nearly photographic memory. She uses her mad skills to earn a living doing investigative work for a security firm.

Her combination of extreme wariness, fearlessness, and tech genius has equipped Salander with a singular ability to exact justice and fend for herself. From fighting off large and numerous attackers and raining down a hellfire of punishment upon anyone who harms her to embezzling a fortune and using it to disappear at will, Salander is as capable and fierce an adversary as you would never care to meet. She takes no prisoners.

If you are unwise enough to $#@% with her, you may quickly find your bank accounts drained, your credit rating decimated, your assets frozen, and an exploding milk carton in your lap. To her enemies, she's a typhoon of whupass in a petite, ripped, punk-rock package. To her friends...actually, she doesn't so much have friends.

The Cocktail

James Hensley, manager of that inimitable speakeasy, The Patterson House, offers his take on the perfect drink for our diminutive detective, that tiny whirlwind of mayhem. A match to the garnish converts this tasty beverage to a relatively harmless version of the Molotov variety of cocktail.

The Dragon Tattoo

2 oz Vodka

3/4 oz Lemon juice

3/4 oz Ginger Syrup

1/2 oz Cherry Heering

13 drops Kubler Absinthe.

Place all ingredients in a shaker and shake. Strain into a collins glass with a single large shard of ice. Top with club soda and stir two times. Garnish with a large piece of ginger candy with a Luxardo cherry on top. Put three drops of Absinthe over the cherry and set it ablaze.

The Cigar
La Flor Dominicana Double Ligero Chiselito

Filler: Dominican Republic

Binder: Dominican Republic

Wrapper: Ecuador

Length: 5"

Ring Gauge: 44

Looks can be deceiving.

Lisbeth Salander, as a consequence of her formative years, has an accidental sagacity and thick-proved skin that allows her to be a dangerous, desired asset. She ain't bad to look at. Some might describe her with the archaic "firecracker," but that is a misnomer. She's stronger.

In choosing a cigar, she wouldn't be deceived by the numerous huge cigars that are a transference for some closeted men. She would smoke the Chiselito--as small and deceptive as she is. The cigar is small and looks good, but the ligero makes it extremely strong. It has more pepper and spice than some people can handle. You would eat before you smoked it for fear of turning green, or stomach turning. It's a pleasant kick in the ass.

Lisbeth would probably smoke it between cigarettes on an empty stomach with a little black coffee for

sipping. It is the cigar for someone with enough resolve to dig herself out of her grave.

by Joe Zike, UPtown's Smoke Shop

The Science of Anxiety

2010-12-28T15:23:00.002-06:00

The Two Faces of Infidelity

In this business we often see checklists--catalogs of clues that a spouse might be cheating.

A quick Google search for “signs of infidelity” returns no fewer than 200,000 hits for How to spot a cheating spouse, How to tell if he’s stepping out, Ways to tell if he’s got a new lover. These lists are almost always the same: new perfume, new interest in physical appearance, secretive phone calls, mysterious expenditures, etc.

If you've ever had reason to perform that particular Google search, you know the feeling: it's that little kernel of doubt that sneaks into a marriage and destroys confidence, trust, and peace. Maybe it presents itself in small doses, meting out insecurity in infinitesimal portions. Maybe it walks into the room and screams.

Either way, those lurking unknowns and suspicions fuel a growing unease that can rapidly escalate to anxiety, stress, even a sort of mental paralysis. And the cheater experiences a form of anxiety as well—the stress that accompanies the need to lie to maintain a façade of normalcy.

Anxiety – The cuckold/cuckquean’s perspective

Anxiety is a byproduct of fear, and fear of the unknown is, perhaps, the most distressing variety. Anxiety closes down the thinking brain and activates the body-protecting lizard brain, the reacting brain. As Gregory Hartley puts it in his book, How to Spot a Liar, philanderers are, “…brokers of anxiety.” When a person thinks his spouse is cheating on him, he receives a jolt to his idea of self and his frame of reference.

We organize our idea of self by assembling input from others and various situations. Our frame of reference, our view of the outside world, is prejudiced by experience. When one suspects infidelity, both self and frame of reference are questioned. Confusion and emotion take charge…anxiety rents space in the brain.

Anxiety – The cheater’s perspective

When people have affairs, they lie to maintain their cover. Big and small non-truths leak out in a sludge of constant mendacity. From hiding credit card receipts to sneaking off to the back porch for late-night small talk via cell phone, every aspect of a deceptive person’s life is caught up in half-truths, fabrication, and deceit. And when someone tells a lie, he places himself under stress. He lives in constant fear of discovery.

Stress and the Sympathetic Nervous System

When the mammalian body perceives a threat, the sympathetic nervous system takes over and kick-starts the body's "fight-or-flight" response. Blood is routed away from the face and skin to the muscles. Blood is diverted away from the digestive tract. The bladder no longer has the ability to contract and expel waste. The liver floods the blood stream with glucose, preparing for physical activity. Heart rate and respiration increase and nostrils flare, offering the lizard brain a heavy dose of oxygenated blood. Metabolism is heightened, sweating intensifies. Pupils dilate to collect as much data about the threat as possible. Gregory Hartley calls this, "your mind at war.”

The outward signs are always visible, if sometimes only in very minute forms. The stressed person’s hands may shake. His complexion may appear pallid. His mouth and lips dry out, a result of dramatically reduced blood flow. Mucosa shrink, leading to pale thin lips and drooping lower eyelids. The brow clinches and draws downward. Shoulders draw tight in preparation for defense. Elbows are in, close to the ribcage in a defensive posture.

Inside, the stressed person feels jittery, hypersensitive. Thanks to a lack of blood in the digestive system, the person feels a sensation of butterflies in the stomach; he may even feel nausea. With the heart racing blood away from the skin, the anxious person feels a high core temperature and cool skin, that clammy feeling. His focus becomes narrow and sense of hearing is directed at the source of the threat. He hears his own heartbeat. His mind recedes to a primitive state, and emotions work their way involuntarily to the fore. The person under stress often becomes defensive, argumentative, and emotional.

These systems turn on at the cost of rational thought, leading to what Seth Godin calls “lizard brain.” Irrationality is the rule at this point.

How to stop the cycle

The Simple (well…maybe not so simple) Fix for Stress

The cheater

Simple answer - Do not cheat. Alternative answer – stop telling lies.

In one case last year, we were hired by a woman's attorney to document a philandering husband’s activities. We placed him under heavy surveillance--three cars and four investigators. We documented the man’s every move, dates, picnics, overnight visits, etc. Confronted with his lies, the man took an unusual tack, opting to eliminate his ongoing stress and simply carry on the affair in the open. He even brought his new girlfriend to a meeting at the attorney’s office. He thereby removed the burden of a lie, and his stress level seemed to drop. From a purely practical perspective, this wasn't a bad call.

Ending the affair is always the best solution. But coming clean about an affair can at least remove the deceit variable from the equation and, along with it, some of the accompanying stress. And it might even allow the dallier to regain access to rational thought, which just might lead to more productive discourse.

The Cuckold/Cuckquean

Simple answer – remove the unknown.

Again, anxiety is a byproduct of fear, often fear of the unknown. Do not guess. Do not assume. Know. Anxiety leads to "lizard brain," and in that state, irrationality is the rule.

Shakepeare didn't need to understand the sympathetic nervous system to recognize it at work on the human rational mind. He sketched this lizard-brain descent from suspicion to anxiety to madness (to brilliant effect) in his 1603 play "Othello" in which a man desperately in love with his wife allows his unwarranted suspicions to prompt a series of escalating irrational acts, ending in tragedy—the old one-two punch of murder-suicide, always, unfortunately, performed in that order.

Though potentially painful, it is always best to eliminate the unknown. Once a person has the facts…once he eliminates the unknown, he can remove anxiety, and (potentially) act rationally.

Conclusion

For the cheating spouse: Gregory Hartley says, “You will simplify your life enormously if you eliminate complete fabrication from your repertoire.” Simply put, stop lying and placing yourself under needless stress.

For the spouse who fears a partner is having an affair: get the facts. Consider hiring a competent and qualified investigator to learn the facts on your behalf. Find out what's really happening, then act rationally from a place of knowledge and power.

Here at [FIND] Investigations, we believe that our role is to help our clients contain the unknown. By gathering documented and verifiable information, we hope to help people move from a state of fear and helplessness to higher cognitive function…and rational action.

Address Change for [FIND] Investigations

2010-12-08T13:17:00.002-06:00

[FIND] Investigations has a new address:

[FIND] Investigations
P. O. Box 120086
Nashville, TN 37212

One of my favorite recollections from growing up in a small town is walking with my dad to the post office. When school was out my dad would haul me to his office on Main Street and let me hang out for the day. It didn't matter if it was 100 degrees and steamy hot or 6 inches of snow and tooth-chilling cold; Tom dressed accordingly, lit out the door, and strolled down 14th Avenue to the intersection of 14th and Osborne to gather the post.

This daily ritual was a social affair. We'd stop by Gibby's and chat, trek over to the bank and have a coffee, walk an extra block down to Simmons' Shoe Store and spend a few minutes chatting with Bill, one of my mentors. The walk, the ritual, the time spent sharing time seems to be a rapidly disappearing memory, an anachronism.

Well, here at [FIND] Investigations, we celebrate the anachronistic. Each month we highlight a fictional PI, usually some gumshoe from history. We do not hide from the widely-held perception that this business is somehow more fun than it should be. Our new post office is exactly 1.98 miles from the office. The walk takes us past our favorite coffee shop, along one of Nashville's oldest boulevards, and by some of our best friends' houses and offices. In short, it's perfect.

I made the stroll down 12th over to Belmont this morning. There was no snow on the ground, but it was tooth-chilling cold. Next time my dad's in town, I think I'll haul him to the office and let him hang out for the day. Maybe we can make the hike to the post office together, drop by my buddy Austin's office for a cup of coffee and a few minutes of chatting.

-THH

Camera to Help Your Life Safe and Happiness

2010-12-07T09:24:00.003-06:00

Key Fob Camera

I just love the translated grammar issues with spy gear. We just picked up a new covert camera. (Pictured at right)

I love the camera. It creates wonderful covert video and still photos and is as innocuous looking as, well...a standard remote access for a car. I did, however, get a huge kick out of the sparse and syntaxically challenged instructions for operation. Opening sentence, "...hope it can help your life safe and happiness."

There is only one warning noted in the brief instructions pamphlet. It reads as follows:

"Serious Statement: This product is used in the illicit use is strictly prohibited, the consequence of self."

[FIND] VICE - Shaft, the black private dick, sex-machine to all the chicks.

2010-11-30T14:15:00.007-06:00

This month’s installment of [FIND] Vice brings us the black private dick who’s a sex-machine for all the chicks, John Shaft. Of all the fictional P.I.’s, Shaft is one of the strongest. Thanks to Isaac Hayes and his Academy-Award-winning-pulsating-throbfest of a theme song, everybody knows SHAFT. Aaahh…that harbinger of blaxploitation, that first hint of what a black P.I. could be…. The 1971 film, SHAFT, announced a new decade of African-American cinema. Thank you Richard Roundtree (the original and, for many, the only Shaft.).

As the thrilling detective website puts it, John Shaft, “..wasn’t just black. He was in-yer-motherfucking-face black.” And thank God for that. Here’s to John Shaft.

The Cigar
We welcome our new cigar connoisseur, Joe Zike (great name for a PI). Joe slings verbs at journalism school and moonlights as a cigar hound at one of our favorite man-cave cigar shops, UpTowns in green hills. Here’s what Joe has to say about which cigar corresponds perfectly to the attitude and character of SHAFT.

Tatuaje-tattoo

Gran Cojonu

Country of Origin: Miami,

USA

Nicaraguan binder Nicaraguan filler Habano Ecuadorian

Wrapper 6 1/2" long; 60 ring gage; come in a 12 count box; strength-strong

John Shaft walks the streets of New York, surveying his turf, collecting information and sending a message without sending one. He smokes a cigar, and it is the Gran Cojonu by Tatuaje. It doesn't come with a cigar band on it. It doesn't need to. It just is, and people who know, know. It's a large, strong cigar with rich palate-coating flavors (coffee, chocolate and pepper that balance into a creamy smoothness) and an easy draw. The Gran Cojonu, here interpreted as 'the greatest of the ballsiest,' is the cigar for the badass "black private dick" who's a "sex machine to all the chicks."

– Joe Zike, [FIND] Investigations Cigar Connoisseur, UpTowns Smokeshop

The Cocktail

The Patterson House, aaahhh…the Patterson House. Thanks again to our very own spirit monkey, James Hensley, manager at the Patterson House, for another brilliant take on pairing a cocktail with a P.I. Here’s James’ concoction created specifically for SHAFT.

The SHAFT

2 oz Cognac

1/4 oz Marie Brizzard White Creme de Cacao

13 drops of Regan's Orange Biters

Place all ingredients in a mixing glass with ice and stir. Strain into a rocks glass over ice and express orange zest over the surface of the drink. Insert the orange peel as garnish.

Our man shaft doesn’t walk with a strut, he embodies it. He’s tall, proud, strong, and oh so charming. Cross him and you’ll know pain. Respect him and you’ll experience a terse since of peace. If you happen to be a lady, just ask yourself, “Do you want to be held, or do you want the L.D.?”

Hensley says, “This brandy old fashioned is just what you need before you fight the man and land lady.” The drink is, “Smooth yet potent, much like the man they call Shaft.” Drop by the Patterson House any time and ask for The SHAFT.

- James Hensley, Manager, The Patterson House

Infidelity in the Digital Age

2010-11-19T08:57:00.008-06:00

Can social media break up a marriage? asks NPR in a recent feature on All Things Considered.

Not exactly. But sites like Facebook open a world of possibilities for connecting with people in a low-risk and socially acceptable way--people like old flames or co-workers whom you might not consider it appropriate to call at home or meet in person, especially if you, and they, are attached.

There's a casualness and anonymity to email, texting, and Facebook that make it easier to cross lines that felt a little more solid before communications went digital. "In fact," reporter Jenifer Ludden points out, "...a partner can easily carry on an affair in the same house, even the same room."

People often behave more boldly in the digital shadows, where rejection, as simple as hitting an "ignore" button or just failing to reply to a text, feels less threatening than an in-person blow-off. That's why it's so easy to launch the kind of online intimacy that can (as Ludden posits) quickly spiral into an affair. And relationships that begin online can often escalate a lot faster than the more traditional variety.

"When you don't have nonverbal communication, the likelihood of being able to disclose at a deeper level is greater, because there's less inhibition," says Bob Rosenwein of Lehigh University. "So it's going to feel like a more intimate relationship."

Extramarital Facebook flirting and romance have apparently become common enough that a New Jersey pastor has cautioned his church community to give up Facebook. JJ Sutherland's NPR News blog quotes Reverend Cedric Miller as saying he's seen a huge rise in couples among his flock who say Facebook is a main source of their marital problems. "The temptation is just too great," he says.

Sutherland also links to this Telegraph article, in which UK divorce lawyers claim that 20% of their clients cite Facebook as a reason for their divorce, often because a spouse has discovered evidence of sexual flirtation on a partner's Facebook site.

The rather sad upside of this for private investigators and family attorneys is that today's straying spouses often leave a digital fingerprint. The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (again, thanks JJ Sutherland for this) reports that 81% of divorce lawyers say they've seen an increase in the number of cases using social media evidence.

We at [FIND] are seeing more of this kind of thing as well--affairs in which the main evidence is a log of text messages or Facebook posts of spouses photographed with their suspected illicit paramours, for all the world to see.

Frankly, you'd think folks would be a little smarter. But it seems that, sometimes, people may begin a digital affair in a way that feels almost innocent. It might even start with a simple, "Whatcha doin'?" text to an attractive casual acquaintance. But when the intimate contact is returned in kind, it can quickly become addictive. The next thing you know, you're stashing the phone under your pillow to intercept 2am texts from someone you barely knew 3 weeks ago.

Here's my personal philosophy on the matter: if it feels wrong, it probably is. I try not to say, type, or text anything I wouldn't be proud for my favorite guy to hear or read. That seems to work pretty darned well for us. But if you're determined to cheat, help a PI out: Facebook-flirt and "sext" as much as you please. We also appreciate any photographic evidence you can provide.
-KDG

[FIND] VICE - A Reasonable Amount of Trouble

2010-10-27T13:09:00.005-05:00

“Spade has no original. He is a dream man in the sense that he is what most of the private detectives I worked with would like to have been and in their cockier moments thought they approached. For your private detective does not — or did not ten years ago when he was my colleague — want to be an erudite solver of riddles in the Sherlock Holmes manner; he wants to be a hard and shifty fellow, able to take care of himself in any situation, able to get the best of anybody he comes in contact with, whether criminal, innocent by-stander or client."

- Dashiell Hammett, introduction to the Maltese Falcon, 1934 edition.

Dashiell Hammett's Samuel Spade is, many would say, the most important figure in the entire private eye genre. He made his debut in 1929 in the pages of Black Mask, in the serialized first part of The Maltese Falcon, and detective fiction has never been the same. He's a "hard and shifty fellow," a partner in the Archer and Spade Detective Agency of San Francisco. He doesn't particularly like his partner, and he's not above sleeping with his wife. He’s a man’s man through and through.

Spade is known to have a penchant for good rum.

One of my favorite lines from the Maltese Falcon is when Sam Spade says, “Oh…I don’t mind a reasonable amount of trouble.” James Hensley, manager of our favorite speak easy, The Patterson House, has crafted a new cocktail based on this one single quote. Drop by any time and ask for…

A Reasonable Amount of Trouble

2 oz. Matusalem Classico Rum

1/4 oz. Lyle's Golden Syrup

7 drops Lime bitters

1 dash Peychaud's Bitters

Mezcal Rinsed Glass

In a mixing glass stir the Lyle's, Rum, and Lime bitters with ice. Strain over ice in a rocks glass that has been rinsed with Creme de Mezcal. Next add the dash of Peychauds' to the top and zest some orange peel over the drink.

Sam Spade loves his rum, even offers a shot to Polhouse and Dundy when they come by to interrogate him. Clearly, the base spirit must be rum. The Lyles is an old school product that's off the beaten path, not unlike like Sam’s detective agency. The Peychaud's Bitters are there to add complexity and like Mr. Spade's wit they are dry. The Lime Bitters liven things up because though Mr. Spade is quick of intellect he is also a man of action. The Mezcal represents the mystery, the unexpected, the twist if you will. This tasty beverage is, in many ways, like Ms. O’Shaughnessy’s $200 retainer to Sam…. more than if you had been telling us the truth, and enough more to make it all right.

A Spy's Guide to Halloween - Deep Cover, Pocket Litter, and a Marble in My Shoe.

2010-10-27T09:23:00.004-05:00

Halloween. Best holiday of the year, bar none. Several reasons for this. First, everyone gets candy. Second, everybody gets to go in disguise, costume, as someone or something else. Finally, Halloween is the birthday of [FIND] Investigations Lead Investigator, Thomas H. Humphreys.

To go into deep cover, you'll need a good disguise. A proper disguise is not just spirit gum and fake mustaches. You'll need to build a legend, a fake background story. You'll need paperwork, credit cards, diplomas, etc. to support the legend. These items are what spies call "pocket litter." For a simple Halloween costume you can probably skip this part.

Jack Platt is somewhat of a CIA legend himself. He was the master at operating in denied areas, countries where he was not allowed to travel. Platt says, in the Handbook of Practical Spying, that he used to, "...put a marble in one shoe - man, am I going to walk Different." Platt goes on to say, "...take the marble out, 'the guy with the limp' has disappeared forever." You could actually give this one a try. It's the perfect way to disguise your usual gait.

[FIND] Investigations', Lead Investigator, Thomas H. Humphreys often wears a full beard. While this is a distinguishing feature, it's easily removed. In parts even. Somewhere out on the interwebs for computers, there is a set of photos of Mr. Humphreys in various states of facial hair. Shaving parts of a beard can change the shape and profile of the face. Slap on a different outfit, and suddenly...you're someone else.

This Halloween, give a little bit of thought to your disguise. Go to a party and see if you can avoid being identified by your friends. Better yet, crash another party, one where you don't know anyone. Go ahead, make some new friends. For that matter, if you feel up to it, drop by Rumours Wine Bar on 12th South in Nashville, TN this Sunday. It's the annual hal-o-birth-ween-day party. Disguise is encouraged. The password phrase to gain access is:

Life, The Universe, and Everything

Drop by any time.

THH